I like collecting beer mats
I live with fifteen stray cats
Thought you looked just like R-Pattz
When I got in your way
The moment you first appeared
Into your path I just steered
You looked at me really weird
‘Cause I got in your way

Your stare was worried
Down the street you hurried
After you I scurried
Why don’t we get married, baby?

Hey, you don’t know me
But that won’t phase me
I’m quite obsessive
And slightly crazy
And it just feels right
With you baby
But does it feel like
I’m stalking, maybe?

I’ve hacked your emails
But you won’t trace me
‘Friend’ you on Facebook
But you erase me
Said I’m annoying you
What a baby
I’m just persistent
Or stalking, maybe

Finding romance can be tough
Most guys can’t handle my love
Restraining orders and stuff
Said I got in their way
Now you’re the best chance I got
My friend agreed you were hot
I really like her a lot
‘Though I don’t swing that way

You make me go wow
So call me a mad cow
I’ll still get you somehow
Tracking you on GPS now…

Made all this effort
But you don’t chase me
So when’s it your turn?
You’re kinda lazy
You know you want me
I’m here, baby
Your future girlfriend
Just stalking, maybe

Could call the cops out
But they’ll just tase’ me
I kinda like that
Just call me crazy
So would I top the class
If you grade me?
Get A for effort
Or stalking, maybe?

Don’t have to follow you home like I did before
Won’t do that no more
‘Cause I’ve moved in next door
And my new job means I work the same place you do
Yes I work there too
I’m sitting next to you

And I complete you
Can’t debate, see
Had me at ‘get lost’
Why won’t you date me?

Hey, I just bet you
Secretly rate me
You’re just pretending
You really hate me
And all the other boys
Were just babies
Kept running from me
Like I had rabies

So why don’t you come and be my little R-Pattz?
Show you my beer mats
And my fifteen stray cats
Can’t love you right if you always run away, see
I’m thinking, baby…

I’m stalking, maybe