Wish I could wear my thongs, but this is not the place for it
My sneakers feel so nice, sure they're not okay, dude?
No, you demand these black, borin' things, I've got hate for it
No matter how I tie the laces, there's no room, oh yeah
I'm no fan of your decision
To conform me to your opinion
Of what looks good when it comes to work duds
But I need to tell you somethin'

They're really, really, really, really, really, really tight shoes
'Fraid it's the truth, they're uncomfy, lemme ditch 'em, dude
They're really, really, really, really, really, really tight shoes
It's an issue since you force me to strap them on, douche
Oh, I can feel the blood pumpin' in these kicks, isn't really fun (it ain't fun)
They're really, really, really, really, really, really tight shoes (yeah)
Isn't fair, dude, can't feel my feet, pretty sure they're blue

Ev'ry time I complain, it's the same explanation
"Folks will look at you like you're dumb and inbred"
Yeah, from the waist up, those words make sense, but who'd be gazin'
At my friggin' feet? That is why I protest, buddy
Ev'ryone's signed this petition
But you're still stubbornly insistin':
"Ill-fittin' shoes will give you more focus (bud)"
But I need to tell you somethin'

They're really, really, really, really, really, really tight shoes
Make me pissed, true, wanna toss these right in your face, dude
They're really, really, really, really, really, really tight shoes
Still an issue cause they're size three and I'm size twelve, douche
Oh, my poor toes are crushed (yeah), hope I still have them (whoo)
Cause I can't feel much (no, I can't feel much)
They're really, really, really, really, really, really tight shoes
This ain't fair, dude, isn't just me who wants to kick you

If they have to be black, let me replace them
Get my own set of jams so when it's time to lace them
There'll be no chance that I will lose my feet tonight
"Against the law or somethin'"? Still need to tell you somethin'
Yeah

They're really, really, really, really, really, really tight shoes
Got 'em from you, plus you made me pay 'em in full, too
They're really, really, really, really, really, really tight shoes (oh-oh-oh-oh)
What's wrong with you? These things plain feel like they're shrink-wrapped, dude
Oh, these things really suck (damn shoes really suck)
My words won't be minced (swear they won't be minced)
Each step hurts a bunch (friggin' hurts a bunch)
They're really, really, really, really, really, really tight shoes (whoo)
Sucks for us dudes, but the ladies, have it worse, it's true (yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Their really, really, really, really, really, really tight shoes
Have heels that shoot up, like, sixteen inches, why's that, dude (I still need to tell you somethin')?
They're really, really, really, really, really, really tight shoes (oh yeah-eah)
I'd expect you to be real cheap, this crossed a line, dude