Greasy palms, greasy clothes,

Rats just love my crib, so?
Break, break, break my b@#!s,
Make me wear a bib!

Mom, I know, I've been trouble,
I’m your worst kid,
Not a fan of soapin'--
What were you smokin’?


You picked up my socks
And all my underwear,

You tossed 'em in the trash, you did!
To visit all the clubs is all I ever asked,
'Cuz what you don't understand is

I’d catch a parade for ya! (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Get your cockatiel spayed for ya! (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d leave my toenails ingrained for ya! (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Do something totally strange for ya! (yeah, yeah, yeah)


Oh, oh!

I would sit through “Major Payne”--

Take a bullet train through Bahrain,

Clip on a tie for ya, maybe;

All you can say is “Lame!”

No, no, no, no...


Jack Black, Cheech and Chong,
Movies all day long,
I be watchin' "Dumb and Dumber" while my homies pass the bong;

Bath scrubbin', pan scrubbin',
Even wash my car, yeah,
You'll clean up my place, then take the change out my jar!


Made you call a cab
And it cost a bit of cash
It cost a bit of cash, yes, it did!

To pay for all my drugs is all I ever asked--

'Cuz what you don't understand is


I’d practically shave for ya! (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Get my toilet engraved for ya! (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I’d hump my brother’s Great Dane for ya! (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Defenestrate Herman Cain for ya! (yeah, yeah, yeah)


Oh, oh!
I would lower my credit rating,
Drop your wedding ring through a grating,

Spend a whole dime for ya, maybe...

If you could spare the change...?



When my party was on fire, ooh,

You called the cops, gave 'em names--
I left your sweaters in the dryer
And you never, ever,
EVER did pay me!!


But, Mama, I’d repeat seventh grade for ya! (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Put my back hair in braids for ya! (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Wear baggy trunks like Li’l Wayne for ya! (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I’d fold a cool paper plane for ya! (yeah, yeah, yeah)


Oh, oh!

I’d get stoned drunk at your place!
Staple onion rings to my face!

Rent "Life of Pi" for ya, maybe;
But you won't spare the change...
If you could spare the change...

But you won't spare the change...
No, no, no, no...