Hopin' for a real dramatic exit
But I only came off lookin' ditzy
Wish that I could say it only looked painful
On the outside, yes, inwardly, real painful
Forgot the direction of the front door
Thought it was a "push", it was a "pull" sort
Didn't break my nose but I did look silly
And that's just the worst, I hate to look silly

Dude, I looked like an absolute clown
I hate clowns, you hate clowns, who likes clowns?
No hidden truth, we all dream of cool exits now
Failed that now, botched that now
Blows a lot

Wanted to give somethin' to remember
Should've been a cinch to have a sick ride out
Can't call a do-over, that works never, trust me
Think it's best to slink right out
Not the impression I want remainin'
"Here's that dude who failed to make a sick ride out"
Hoped you could imagine some sunglasses on me
Should've been a sick ride out
Sick ride out

Not the first time I looked like a doofus
Tryna come off cool, ended up stupid
Fell right off a porch, slipped on my own spilled tea
Somehow missed the knob, clear windows betrayed me
Wish that I could say that was one instance
Multiple mistakes but just one dipshit
All the TV shows make it look so easy
All that was a cinch was to film and meme me

Booze can't be blamed for my screwups now
I'm clean now, sober now, hate booze now
I'm just a fool who'll never be slick as oil now
I'm a clown, stupid clown
Blows a lot

Exits that are somethin' to remember
Are the best, we all can love a sick ride out
Came off as the opposite of clever: crazy
Can still hear them laugh right now
Just wanted an exit so amazin'
The tale would win ev'ry Oscar, no lies now
Instead I'm a runnin' gag on TikTok, save me
Help me make a sick ride out

Out, out, out, out, out
Sick ride out, out, out, out, out, out
Out, sick ride out
Blows a lot

I guess it's still somethin' to remember
And it will age better than a sick ride out
What might count as "cool" won't last forever, maybe (maybe)
I should work with this right now
Lean into the joke although I hate it
If I laugh with them, their laughs might die right down
Because since they'll no longer be at me, maybe (maybe)
Kill the meme "Failed Sick Ride Out"
Out, out, out, out, out