"Hi, you're breakin' up, I didn't get your message"

That's not real static, oh please
You're just makin' mouth sounds, man, it's gettin' real old
Ev'rybody knows you love fake static, oh please
Won't fool me at all, hope you can handle your lease
'Cause you'll soon lose your job 'cause of fake static, static, static
Sta-s-s-static, static, static-ic-i-i-i, static, static, static, ah-ooh (haha)
That's not real static, oh please

Pathetic, it's a trick as old as time (time)
What a jerk, really hurts that you think I'd fall for that just fine (ah!)
I've still got workin' ears, can tell you can hear fine (all clear)
And you're just makin' up that your phone's got an awful line (sorry)
So let's start unravellin' (-ravellin') while you're stuck babblin' (babblin')
All the ways this trick would never work, leaves me cacklin' (cacklin')
First off: your phone's make and model is pretty dazzlin'
Lookin' pricey unless you rock at hagglin' (pricey)
So I would have thought (thought) that for that sort of price (ha)
It would properly function, no hunk of junker shite
The phones I know that blow aren't those you're usin' for your lie
And also it's intact, no cracks, so it should work fine (haha)

That's not real static, oh please (that's not real static, buddy)
Your phone doesn't suck that bad, in good shape, ain't old (yes, your phone isn't old)
And mine? The same goes, still not real static, oh please (that's not real static, buddy)
Don't say it's a joke or fresh red jam you will be (I'll be jammin', buddy)
No flack from higher-ups, they loathe fake static, static, static
Sta-s-s-static, static, static-ic-i-i-i, static, static, static, ah-ooh
That's not real static, oh please

Pretendin' that the distance is miles (miles), hence why the reception is shite (shite)
But we both know that you live two blocks down, it should be fine (fine)
Well in the range, all your claims are so pitiful now (ah)
See, see through your lies 'cause they're on repeat, the same ol' blah-blah (ah)
Real bad deceiver when it comes to the bad receiver (yeah) (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
I know the true procedure, as a kid, I was the leader (leader)
At fakin' phone line seizures (haha) so I won't be a believer (ah) (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Of what you're tryin' to pull off, you're low on the skill meter (uh)
You can't be confused, so eager to weasel (yeah!)
Out of your job so I know how to deal with people
So desp'rate for escapin' work, it carries shades illegal (legal)
You've tried this ev'ryday, findin' flaws ain't haystack needles (haha!)

That's not real static, oh please (that's not real static, buddy)
Need to find another tack, one that doesn't blow (need one that doesn't blow)
'Cause the whole world knows you use fake static, oh please (stuck on fake static, buddy)
So common, don't know why you still have this job, see (shouldn't have it, buddy)
Near ev'ry shift skived off with your fake static, static, static
Sta-s-s-static, static, static-ic-i-i-i, static, static, static, ah-ooh
That's not real static, oh please

Ayy, bad, bad, it's so bad
Ayy, super bad static, oh please
Ah-ha-ha (ooh)
I, I, I, I, I hate your static, oh please