If there's one thing that I hate
its those people who create
those stupid fucking programmes
that come on really late

On channel 5,
Or on the other side,
Where they try to sell you shit,
That you know you'll never buy;

Like a coat for your moggy,
whats the point in that?
You know you're never gonna need a jacket for your cat...
But all that I am askin
is for just one day,
these stupid fucking morons,
Just fucking go away.

And if we're talkin wishes
Tell you something I desire:
Piers Morgan and Noel Edmonds
To die in a fire

That would please me good,
Please me really really well,
If Cherie Blaire,
Was in there as well

And if I could wish,
Upon a star,
I'd wish Piers Morgan,
Under my car

And if I could wish,
Upon a trifle,
I'd wish him to be at,
The end of my rifle

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting untalented bastards
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)

And I'll tell you another thing
that really pisses me off
When people call David Cameron a toff,
Ignoring the fact that the kids of Blair
Go to private schools, what's going on there?

And whilst on the touchy subject
of politics,
I'd just like to say
that they're all a bunch of pricks

The reds and the blues and the greens and the yellows
are all just a bunch of self-felating fellows...

Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now (wish right now, wish right now)