Think my rage is laughable?
Real soon I'll be a throat crusher

I've got a gripe 'bout bagpipes
They're an instrument that I abhor
I can't bear them, it's true
So obnoxious, stop it, dude
Oh-oh, I've got a gripe 'bout bagpipes
Shitty instrument that I abhor
I can't bear them, it's true
I don't care if I sound rude-rude
Rude-rude-rude-rude-rude-rude-rude-rude
Ruderuderuderuderuderuderuderude
R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r, need to quit

You should quit

I-I can't sleep because I've got a roommate who is a cock
Tryna shatter both my eardrums with that "instrument" you've got
I'm usin' air quotes, I know you know
The main reason why because I've told you befo'
It's a joke that's been around since the thing has been around
Wonder who was the first Scot to yell "Oi! Cut that music out!"
Think I would prefer a branch of fir
Inside my cranium for my ear hurt
It's not easy, easy, matey, to pick times for practice? Maybe
When I'm out in town? Groovy! But when I'm inside? Save me
Cause you do it all night, that ain't right
24/7? That's so far from my preferred sound
Cause I'm havin' a real beef with you, it won't get through

I've got a gripe 'bout bagpipes
Heinous instrument that I abhor
I can't bear them, it's true
Cause they butcher ev'ry tune
Oh-oh, I've got these gripes 'bout bagpipes
Like a bag of cats, that I abhor
Yeah, that sounds awful, dude
So stop practising, you fool-fool
Fool-fool-fool-fool-fool-fool-fool-fool
Foolfoolfoolfoolfoolfoolfoolfool
F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f, need to quit

You should quit

A-All that I want is you knackered, cause you're not a big slacker
Might applaud that, but, you know, still got a big dagger
And it's gonna pop your sack if you don't quit your act, git
Bit far? I'll shrug, cause I'm fed up
Hear you, hear you through the walls, on the couch or on the stall
You're causin' such a racket with your mad caterwaul
Even people three flats over and down are mad
You won't get appreciation if you play like that

Call my hate irrational
I'm not the only one, sucker
Cause I'm sharin' my big beef with you with all my crew

My-y-y-y list of gripes 'bout bagpi-i-i-ipes
That dumb instrument that I abhor-hor
Have been flared-flared cause of you-ou-ou-ou
Playin' all night like a tool-tool
Oh-oh, my-y-y-y long-held gripes 'bout bagpi-i-i-ow
They're exacerbated by you, dork-dork
I can't bear-bear when it too-oo-oo-oo-oots
Cut it out right now, you tool
My-y-y-y long-lived gripes 'bout bagpi-i-i-ipes
Aren't helped by you playin' Braveheart's score-score
Might burn down-down that thing soo-oo-oo-oon
If you ever dare resume-sume
Oh-oh, I-I-I-I've got a gripe 'bout bagpi-i-i-ow
They're an instrument that I abhor-hor
I can't bear-bear them, it's true-ue-ue-ue-ue
So obnoxious, stop it, dude

Need to quit

Dumbass, said at the beginning
If you keep playing that tartan bladder
From dawn until dusk, I'll bring a fight
So it should go