Friggin' psycho-lookin' weirdo, p-p-p-plays hockey
P-P-P-Plays hockey

Don't watch sports, alright
But still when I browse on random websites
Sports news may still make it to my own feed (ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa)
And so I guess that hockey
Teams have mascots, kids in suits real stocky
Good luck skatin' in those huge feet (hey, hey, hey, hey)
The point is: somethin' awful
Happened last year, I could only boggle
At the new mascot for Philly (ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa)
I don't know what it is now
What I do know now is I'll never sleep now
Cause this friggin' Gritty scares me (hey, hey, hey, hey)

Oh God, Gritty, Gritty
You're so freaky, freaky
Please go, Gritty, Gritty
Stay away
Oh God, Gritty, Gritty
You're so creepy, creepy
Please go, Gritty, Gritty
Stay away

P-P-P-Plays hockey
H-H-Hello Gritty, hello Gritty (ah)
Hello Gritty, you're so freaky
Hello Gritty, hello Gritty (ah)
Hello Gritty, you're so creepy

Those eyes, never blinkin'
Yes, I know, that happens with puppets
But I just don't know what he sees (ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa, ooh-whoa)
Jaw unhinged forever
Racin' t'wards me to eat my lungs and liver
Note to self: no Philly for me (hey, hey, hey, hey)

Oh God, Gritty, Gritty
You're so scary, scary
Please go, Gritty, Gritty
Stay away
Oh God, Gritty, Gritty
You're so spooky, spooky
Please go, Gritty, Gritty
Stay away (argh, argh)

P-P-P-Plays hockey
H-H-Hello Gritty, hello Gritty (ah)
Hello Gritty, you're so scary (hey, hey)
Hello Gritty, hello Gritty (ah)
Hello Gritty, you're so spooky

Creepy monster, off his rocker
P-P-P-Plays hockey
H-H-H-Hairy stalker, so repugnant
P-P, P-P-P-Plays hockey
P-P-P-Plays hockey
P-P-P-P-Plays hockey
P-P-P-P-Plays hockey
P-P-P-P-Plays hockey (hey)
P-P-P-P-ah-ah-ah-ah
P-P-P-P-ah-ah-ah-ah
P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Watch out!

H-H-Hello Gritty, hello Gritty
Hello Gritty, you're so ghastly (hey)
Hello Gritty, hello Gritty
Hello Gritty, you're so eerie

Oh God, Gritty, Gritty (h-h-hello Gritty, hello Gritty)
You're so ghastly, ghastly
Please go, Gritty, Gritty
Stay away
Oh God, Gritty, Gritty (hello Gritty, hello Gritty)
You're so eerie, eerie
Please go, Gritty, Gritty (h-h-hello Gritty, hello Gritty)
Stay away

H-H, H-H-Hello Gritty, hello Gritty