Ow, my thumb got stapled, yes, you heard me right
My thumb got stapled, pain is pretty high
Glad it's not severed but it still ain't nice (yeah, you heard me)
Watchin' all of that blood fly (pretty icky), my thumb got stapled (uh)

My thumb got stapled, bad accident
My thumb got stapled, not a fun event
You know I, I don't like that, ow (uh)
How did it puncture? You'd think human flesh
Would outrank paper when it comes to strength
This is super painful, forgive my focus
On irrelevant and pointless little details, I'm avoidin', yeah-eah
Just starin' at the blood spots 'til I collapse on the spot

Ow, my thumb got stapled, yes, you heard me right
My thumb got stapled, not a pleasant sight
I'm not sure whether to pull it outright (yeah, you heard me)
It looks like it's stuck in tight (stupid metal), my thumb got stapled

Wish that someone would hurry
And get this out my body, oh-oh yeah-eah-eah-eah
I can't move, got a job to do, tough shit, yeah
That's what my manager told me
Just because I got clumsy, oh-oh yeah-eah-eah-eah
Gotta do what I must for a paycheck
Hope that I don't run out of blood because I doubt
That would count as clockin' out (oh-oh yeah-eah)

Ow, my thumb got stapled, yes, you heard me right
My thumb got stapled, sure not feelin' nice
It won't get better with folks still in line (yeah, you heard me)
'Cause the boss is kinda shite (ain't your fault, see), my thumb got stapled

How'd this even happen in the first place? Can I lie?
I'd rather drown in my own blood than just be honest at this time
Or just pretend some random asshole didn't like the way their coupon was denied
But the truth is that I didn't keep a proper eye (good eye)
Upon my own hands as I chunked the damn receipt on your bag, yikes
And now I'm makin' a mess, I'm happy to refund that dress if you would like
I wasted your purchase 'cause my thumb got stapled (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Ow, my thumb got stapled, yes, you heard me right
My thumb got stapled, not for the first time
See these scars left in? Not from mozzie bites (yeah, you heard me)
No, they're from the other times (been at least three) my thumb got stapled

Yeah, you heard me, stapled, my thumb got stapled
Yeah, you heard me, my thumb got stapled