It's just my butt and it's on fire
How it feels there anyway, Got hemorrhoids today
They're right there on my butt feels like on fire
It's a catastrophe, I need to make them heal away

Owwww ow ow ow ow
I got my buns on the throne
Feels like burning I know
Owwww ow ow ow ow
I got both feet on the floor
Don't want pain anymore

My butt feels on fire
Feels like it's on fire
I'm sitting on fire
Just like it's on fire

Looks all normal
Feels like a flame
The pain it singes my butt
I want it to go away
So I try but can't seem to put out the pain
I use a lot of cream
Hottest of the hottest feelings hey

Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch
I got my butt on the seat
I should watch what I eat
Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch
Got an upset stomach
And I'm feeling so sick

My butt feels on fire
Feels like it's on fire
Temperature gets higher
Of it I'm so tired

Everybody stares as I go by
Cause I'm in so much pain
Shows in my eyes
Watch me I'm writhing in pain tonight
Nobody knows the cause of all my pain
It's driving me insane
I go out though it burns
Ow it burns, ouch ouch

My butt is on fire
I wipe, feel the fire
When I crap feel fire
Feels like it's on fire

Ow, ooh, ow, ooh owwww ooh ow ooh ow ahhh ow ahh ahhhh

Cream finally worked, there's no more fire