[Verse 1]
Students in my face
Damn near every day
Asking me a question like
Can you regrade?
I tell them no way
Ask the TA
Check his syllabus to see what he'll say
Just wrote some notes, clogs on my feet
I'm in my office, so e-mail me
Room 223, with too many seats
A lot of printer paper so I fill the chairs with sheets
Catch me at the wrong time, talking on the phone
Coffee in my lap notebooks on the floor
A student can choose, never ask me why
Drop/add my course or you can resign
Nobody likes me, I don't try
Students seem to cringe every time I walk by
I know you wonder why
I'm not cool
Don't ask me, your assignment is due

[Chorus: repeat 2X]
Sitting in my class, it's due now
Standing in the hall, it's due now
Riding on the bus, it's due now
Anywhere you are the paper is due now

[Verse 2]
Problem number two, go and try again
Read the book and study or look in the back
When I stop to talk, students just pause
I say a few words you check the clock on the wall
Go collect the work, pass it back then up
Two minutes late and you're shit out of luck
Post to the newsgroup seven days a week
Even during Spring Break when you're on the beach
I know they don't like me, better yet I know
The grimaces and sadness when I walk through the door
The class knows my style, I grade quite hard
Get one F and you won't get far
Dumb kids in the back
On laptops like fools
Not many girls, time to recruit
If you've got a problem, ask me to my face
'Cause I have office hours every week, every day

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
Time to post the grades, let my students know
Have you ever seen someone get a negative before?
I teach really slow, no need to speed
If we don't cover it, well you still have to read
Students at my door, and I don't regret
I keep my hands clean, never grade a problem set
I hear a grading question, look them in their eyes
Who grades papers? Not me, surprise!
100 students, only 3 As
Have a deep laugh rub the grades in their face
Curving is a habit, so I'll never do it
Grades fall where they do, so I don't skew it

[Chorus]