Ho, ho, ho (yeah!)
Yeah, it's Saint Nicholas man (Sleigh’s on your shingles)
Or Father Christmas
Whatever you wanna call me man
Northern Pole or Die
And this number is brought to you by Santaland Co.
Reindeer and Red Sleighs too
Christmas Records in the place (yeah)
Santa Claus, Holly Jolly, Santaland Co.
Showing I'm Santa Claus and ready
Yeah, kids!
And I'm--

I'm readin' all the letters you sent me
Be certain that there are plenty
Generatin' some cheer and some got me mistaken for pure fiction
Know I may be kinda fat, but chimneys give no friction
And my travel situation is dope has no restriction
People having doubts slice me up like a physician
Leave those cookies out, I'll deliver your subscription
So you best not shout, 'cause this gift got your name on it
Only complex fibers, please no chocolate for my reindeer gang
Kids I know that you all mean well, so I will not harangue
'Cause if they do eat it, have a sudden stop in Da Nang
Oh man, Rudolph loves a sweet snack
Knowing too many carbs will turn a reindeer into a yak
Cruise at maximum altitude, with my velvet sack
So impressed with my flying reindeer and their huge racks
And I check my list twice
Don't pout or cry
As I cruise up in my sleigh, you know why

This what y'all been good for
I'm just givin' you presents
I'm jumpin' down in your chimney on this night
I'll eat all the cookies, and drink milk
That you display
Then hop in my sleigh (sleigh)
I get in my sleigh (sleigh)
I get in my sleigh (sleigh)
I get in my sleigh (sleigh)
If you've been an a'hole
Check in your stocking 'cause you got coal

Ho, posted up at the North Pole
Say I bring the gifts too fast
Well guess who's getting some coal
You say this world's too vast
From L.A. to Bern, and Seoul
I just look at them and laugh
Gut jiggles like jelly bowls
Tommy's getting toy cars
Anita's stocking is full
With Boogie Superstar
You celebrate with your kin
'Cause that warms up my heart
These families have got the right spirit
It's Christmas after all
I'm don't need to make an appearance
Ho, so while you're busy on that morning tryna trade gifts
I start to write all your names onto my new two lists
Magical beings like Santa gotta do this
Mailbox filling readin' all the letters you sent me
For next year already plenty
Pop another cookie, my sleigh is running on empty
Generatin' some cheer and none got me mistaken
I gotta go 'cause this season's a wrap
And Ms. Claus wants to come sit on my lap

This what y'all been good for
I'm just givin' you presents
I'm jumpin' down in your chimney on this night
I'll eat all the cookies, and drink milk
That you display
Then hop in my sleigh (sleigh)
I get in my sleigh (sleigh)
I get in my sleigh (sleigh)
I get in my sleigh (sleigh)
If you've been an a'hole
Check in your stocking 'cause you got coal