Once, now very long ago, I was respected, I was popular (popular, ooh)
But now I hang my head in even more shame (ahh, ooh)
My life is still filled with such regret
A bad mistake I still can't forget
And now I'll never be the same

Ringtone
Why did I buy this stupid ringtone again?
I still just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all (What was I thinking?)
My friends still all stare at me whenever I get a call
Well, everybody (everybody)
Everybody (everybody)
Everybody in the world still really hates my ringtone

When my phone goes off at work
I still look like the biggest jerk
Total strangers still wanna slap me around
When it's ringin' on the terrace
My neighbors still get embarrassed
They're still beggin' me to move outta town
Well, it made my wife so sick
She smashed my iPhone with a brick
But I had it fixed, and now it's just fine
It's a pain, I sure don't need it
And I probably should delete it
But for me that would be crossin' the line
'Cause I hate to waste a buck ninety nine
Hey, I paid good money for this...

Ringtone
Why did I buy this stupid ringtone?
I still just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all (Really, what was I thinking?)
My friends still all stare at me whenever I get a call
Well, everybody (everybody)
Everybody (everybody)
Everybody in the world still really hates my ringtone

Ringtone
Ringtone
Ahh, ooh

Chinese factory workers (they still hate my ringtone)
Muslim women in burqas (really still hate my ringtone)
Starvin' kids in Angola (they still hate my ringtone)
Even folks with Ebola (just still hate my ringtone)
All the nuns and nannies (all the welfare mothers)
All the Pakistanis (all the Wayans brothers)
Everyone on the land, everyone on the sea
Every single person everywhere unanimously
Everybody (everybody)
Everybody (everybody)
Everybody in the whole wide world still really hates my
Ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone...