My name is Archie (who?), my name is Archie Andrews
My name is Archie (who?), my name is Archie Andrews
My name is Archie (who?), my name is Archie Andrews
I have red hair and freckles, red hair and freckles, red hair and freckles, red hair and freckles

Reggie, he's a jock
Reggie, he loves Midge
His name's... Moose Mason
Reggie, just watch out
When you swoon with Midge
That guy's... [punching sound] Moose Mason

Veronica Lodge, what a spoiled rich girl
(Archie Archie) Seeing Veronica Lodge
Veronica Lodge, famous throughout the whole world
(Archie Archie) Seeing Veronica Lodge

He's Forsythe Pendleton Jones the third
But we can call him Jughead Jones
Most of his life can be absurd
He's hungry most of the time alone

Yeah, my name is Chuck Clayton
Yeah, my name is Chuck
That's right, I'm an artist, my name is Chuck
I'm also an athlete, I'm Chuck
That's right

Grundy... Flutesnoot... Coach Kleats

Don't cha wish Betty was worse than me
Don't cha wish Ronnie was better than me
Don'tcha, don'tcha
Don't cha wish your new girlfriend's better than Midge
Don't cha think about Reggie loving Midge
Don'tcha, don'tcha don'tcha don'tcha

Mr. Lodge kicked me right out of your house
But Veronica, why don't you hang out at my house tomorrow?
You're sophisticated
Not feeling oxidated
When Betty was not around

Betty... Betty... Betty!

I'll take you to the Chocklit Shop
It don't offer lollipops
Jughead, this is your stop
Where sundaes might hit the spot, woah!
(We'll take you to the Chocklit Shop) Yeah!
(Get a taste of what Pops got) Uh huh
(Better off spendin' all you got) Come on
(Cheeseburgers will hit the spot, woah!)

When The Bee leaves the office
Don't tell him you're late
Don't tell him you're late
Don't tell him you're late
Mr. Weatherbee will get at you
When you're too irate
When you're too irate

Come Archie Andrews, blond Betty Cooper (come Archie Andrews just fall in love with me)
Well Veronica Lodge was still wantin' more what (come Archie Andrews just fall in love with me)
Hey Archie, please Archie Andrews
You'd just really need me, fall in love with me

He was a prankster (he was a prankster)
He's in a mood (he's in a mood)
He's got a funny attitude (attitude)
Oh, he's Reggie Mantle
Who's still living (who's still living)
In Riverdale
Hey! Hey!
Now you know his name was Reggie Mantle
He wants to tell you just one joke joke
Now you know his name was Reggie Mantle
He wants to tell you just one joke joke
Laugh out, you Jughead, laugh out (I'll never stop)
Laugh out, you Jughead, laugh out (I'll never stop)
Laugh out, you Jughead, laugh out (I'll never stop)
Laugh out, you Jughead
So you know his name was
Reggie Mantle
(oh no) Reggie Mantle
(oh no) Reggie Mantle
[Reggie, spoken: "Shave and a haircut, no hair!"]
[Archie: "Hey!"]
[Electric razor sound, shaving Archie's head bald, then Archie screaming in pain]