Short Back and Sides!

Hair, Hair, Hair
Hair, Hair, Hair! (x2)

On the way to the barbers
Gonna get me a haircut I havent quite decided
What it will be

I was-a wondering if I Should I get some blonde streaks
Or maybe even swooped back making me look like a right geek
From the 1950s

Cuz I'm getting real hairy
I can't control it with a brush or a comb, Oh
So I'm going to the barbers
To see if he can establish some control
So I told him let's go
And told him to cut my

Hair, Hair
He said the task wasn't gonna be easy
Hair, Hair
Cuz my hair's all knotted and quite greasy
Hair, Hair
It's all tangly and really frizzy
Hair, Hair
Next thing I knew, he's all prepared to cut my

Hair, Hair, Hair
Hair, Hair, Hair! (x2)

So he's about to shave my head now
Asking me what style that I want him to put
Coz he's ready to cut
I said that I was undecided
And he could do what he liked with my locks
And then he was off, hey

So now he's cuttin hair
All over the place
And I don't know when he's gonna stop
And If he ever does
If that's the case
He's gonna be cutting all of it off
And then he pauses
And tilts back the chair
And then he looks at me
He asks "Short back and sides"
And I'm like "Sure"
When the hell am I suppose to leave?

He cuts my hair (hair)
This barber's cloak is fastening me to the chair (chair)
My head is getting bald, but does he really care (care)
First chance I get, I'll be running down the stairs (stairs)
Next thing I know, he's stopped, and laughing at my

Hair, Hair, Hair
Hair, Hair, Hair! (x2)

Oh great, now I look ridiculous
Everyone finds this so humerous
And wow, point at my hair and I scowl
Cuz I'm a cross between Gandalf and Simon Cowell
One half of my hair is really long
But the other half is all short and wrong
I'm gonna be suing the barber who did this to me
I look like I fell down a lavatory
Find a hat to hide my face
A paper bag will do in this case
Lock myself in my room
With my hair and my shame and my woe and gloom..ness
Why did I have to have my hair all cut away
I'm never going to that place again, no way
Next time, I'll cut my hair on my own
With the use of scissors and a great big bowl

Hair, Hair
Did the barber have a grudge against me?
Hair, Hair
Did I piss him off unintentionally
Hair, Hair
Or is my new hairstyle a fashion of sorts?
Hair, Hair
Coz if it is, then I don't get it

Hair, Hair, Hair
Hair, Hair, Hair! (x2)

Cut that, Style it back
I've got me a haircut that makes you go (*snip*)
Cut that, Style it back
Friz got him a haircut that makes you go (*bzzzzz*) (x2)