On my birthday I'm more abu-u-used
Since you're giving me sh*te and I can't complain
You know I'll say "Thanks" since I won't be ru-u-ude
But inside my of brain.... I've called you a pain....

Gave me some cheap toys that fell apart
Don't want that Dogs Playing Poker art
Those gifts are lame
"Fergie sings Beach Boys": That made me barf
Don't want this pink polka-dotted scarf
Your gifts are lame

Tossed them all in the fla-aaames

Each holiday stinks since you wasted di-iiii-imes (di-iiii-imes, di-iiii-imes)
This got so outta hand I need to fume
A girl might like this Barbie Bri-i-ide
I'm a grown-ass man, dude! Have you been huffing glue?!

Gave me old Playboys with pages stuck
Don't want cologne that smells like dead skunk
These gifts are lame
Boiled some bok choy instead of cake
I don't want a live pissed off hissing snake
These gifts are lame

Bring me more and you're maimed

When there's a pile I'll seethe
Can't stand this Sesame Street Onesie
Chunks of fake doggy doo
I'm alarmed since you think it's funny

Thanks for the soybeans in my cookies (soybeans in my cookies)
You know that it blows when I get a man-thong (oh noooo)
Stuffed pigeon's a crime, Taxidermy (yuuuuck)
Is morally wrong: This vegan's pissed off!

Getting so annoyed by lumps of coal
Each Christmas just sucks, You're such a troll
These gifts are lame (Gifts are lame)
My grins are destroyed by cans of skoal
I'm filled with disgust by the things you've stole
These gifts are lame (Gifts are lame)

This package makes noise, I've heard it growl
Some animal's tossed in, It makes me scowl
Your gifts are lame (Gifts are lame)
Easter's not enjoyed this candy's foul
Who wants Circus Peanuts to hit their jowls?
Those gifts are lame!

Da-aaa-aaa-aaamn...

Your presents aren't great!
Don't want this cracked plate!
I know your gifts are lame...
Don't get me anythiiiiiing...
I know your gifts are lame... I know your gifts are lame...
Some used comb...
Friggen gifts are so lame... I hate your gifts, They're laaaaame...