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Song Parodies -> "(World's Worst) Gigolo"
Original Song Title:
"Vertigo"
(MP3)Original Performer:
U2
Parody Song Title:
"(World's Worst) Gigolo"
Parody Written by:
Kristof Robertson
The Lyrics
Continuing with my current theme of perversion and such (I need to get out more), may I present this foetid beast of a parody. Please do not show this to small children, the very old, or law enforcement operatives...
On no! Gross! Yes! An orgy!
Pantscome downI'm drunk
My breath smells like a decomposing skunk
I'm wearing lederhosen and Old Spice; your eyes are shut
Because you can'tbelieveyou paid for this performance
Hello, hello (Howdy!)
I'd be the world's worst gigolo (I take cheques!)
Ralph Kramden taught me everything I know
And now youget to see my
Trouser eeeel.eeeeel
Y-frontsare fullof holes
It must be coz they're seventeenyears old
I tinkled but I missedthe toilet bowl
I shouldn't get this trashedI'm onparole!
I can't stand up straight
I've got a hairy back
Personal hygiene
Is something I sure lack
Let's watch "I Love Lucy"
It might get you juicy
Whoooooah
Whoooooah
Yellow, yellow (jaundice)
Call me this town's Deuce Bigalow (got food stamps?)
I've got angina so let's take it slow
And when Itake my shirt off
Please don't squeeeealsqueeeeeeeal!
Touch me
You've scored!
I'm easy.yeah!
[SOLO]
All of thisall of this could be yours
I French kissunlike other cheap whores
Sexy missI'll get down on all fours
Just give me twenty bucksI'm yours for dessert!
Jell-o, jell-o (raspb'rry)
I'll be your no-frills gigolo (my cab's here)
I brought my own pantyhose
For hotdiscount lovin'
I'm a steal; you'll be thanking me
Aaaaaaagh
Babe, you'll be spanking me
Aaaaaaagh
Mucho threeeel..threeeeeel!!
Yeah yeah, oh yeah, oh baby
Yeah yeah yeah, call me daddy
Unggghhh
...
...
...
You got a spare cigarette?? No?? Dang.
Pantscome downI'm drunk
My breath smells like a decomposing skunk
I'm wearing lederhosen and Old Spice; your eyes are shut
Because you can'tbelieveyou paid for this performance
Hello, hello (Howdy!)
I'd be the world's worst gigolo (I take cheques!)
Ralph Kramden taught me everything I know
And now youget to see my
Trouser eeeel.eeeeel
Y-frontsare fullof holes
It must be coz they're seventeenyears old
I tinkled but I missedthe toilet bowl
I shouldn't get this trashedI'm onparole!
I can't stand up straight
I've got a hairy back
Personal hygiene
Is something I sure lack
Let's watch "I Love Lucy"
It might get you juicy
Whoooooah
Whoooooah
Yellow, yellow (jaundice)
Call me this town's Deuce Bigalow (got food stamps?)
I've got angina so let's take it slow
And when Itake my shirt off
Please don't squeeeealsqueeeeeeeal!
Touch me
You've scored!
I'm easy.yeah!
[SOLO]
All of thisall of this could be yours
I French kissunlike other cheap whores
Sexy missI'll get down on all fours
Just give me twenty bucksI'm yours for dessert!
Jell-o, jell-o (raspb'rry)
I'll be your no-frills gigolo (my cab's here)
I brought my own pantyhose
For hotdiscount lovin'
I'm a steal; you'll be thanking me
Aaaaaaagh
Babe, you'll be spanking me
Aaaaaaagh
Mucho threeeel..threeeeeel!!
Yeah yeah, oh yeah, oh baby
Yeah yeah yeah, call me daddy
Unggghhh
...
...
...
You got a spare cigarette?? No?? Dang.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 14 | 14 | 14 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Y-fronts? Are those anything like G-strings? Brilliant, Kristof. It's so nice to see you returning to regular submissions. =)
Hilarious and Brilliant, 5z all round
You're not the world's world gigolo..You're the world's best "gagolo".. (made up word, meaning best gag writer)..This is a hymen of hilarity..up with my fives.
i read and enjoyed although i am very old and act like a small child
Whoa! 5's
"Just give me twenty bucks, I'm your's for dessert".... NICE!!!!!!!! Now what you do for 555 bucks?
He's baa-aaack! LMAO all the way through this one, Kristof! TMGLTBM ! =Too many great lines to be mortal 555
LOL - and you're right about "I Love Lucy" That show shouldn't be shown before 11.30pm - kids might be watching - 555
Cat: Y-fronts? I think you Americans call them Jockeys; they're briefs with a front opening shaped like an inverted Y...deeply nerdish. I'ts good to be back. Thanks
Charnstar: Thanks for taking the time to drop in!
AFW: gagolo...hymen of hilarity...you slay me, dude! Cheers
Al: If I could call you Officer Rhodes you'd have the full set! Thanks, as always
lionel: Are you OK, mate? Have you been rendered mute? ;-) Thanks
Matthias: For 555 bucks you get the angle grinder AND the dancing chicken! Cheers
Rick: You're too kind. I'm a bit rusty; still working up to full speed. Thanks
Stu: Hey compadre! Know what you mean...that and Leave It To Beaver and it's cold shower time. Gracias!!!
Charnstar: Thanks for taking the time to drop in!
AFW: gagolo...hymen of hilarity...you slay me, dude! Cheers
Al: If I could call you Officer Rhodes you'd have the full set! Thanks, as always
lionel: Are you OK, mate? Have you been rendered mute? ;-) Thanks
Matthias: For 555 bucks you get the angle grinder AND the dancing chicken! Cheers
Rick: You're too kind. I'm a bit rusty; still working up to full speed. Thanks
Stu: Hey compadre! Know what you mean...that and Leave It To Beaver and it's cold shower time. Gracias!!!
SOTM - The dirtiest song I've read all month, for sure. Fits with Dollar-Fifty Ho, though. Jockeys, eh? Being the only "Jockey" around here, I suppose I should make a note that I'm not the same kind...
"gotta spare cigarette" lol this is a doosy of a parody "jello jello" i'll never sign "hello" again 555
"gotta spare cigarette" lol this is a doosy of a parody "jello jello" i'll never sign "hello" again 555
SOTM - If this wins a medal I'll claime some credit... you've obviously gotten your hands on my memoirs in the making! :-)
A strange attraction here...good one. DKTOS...5's anyway
(SOTM) See above!
SOTM-European gigolo
when i commented before i repeated myself loved it
(SOTM) See my comments above. NIce line, K1. :-)
(SOTM) You can get vertigo from gazing up at the vertiginous heights of KR's parody-writing talent!
(SOTM) The name drops were lost on me, but that doesn't detract from the fact this is hilarious! I can really hear Bono singing this, too. So, have you legally changed your middle name to "TMGLTM" yet, or is it too hard pronouncing words with no vowels? ;-) 555
(SOTM) in my first comment I was just going on your lyrics, as I DKTOS - this time I downloaded the OS, and that enabled me to appreciate all the little Kristof gags you always tuck into all the little corners - brilliant stuff as usual KR
(SOTM) I get the opposite to what Johnny D said...I feel small and insignificant standing next to his talent. Good thing his parody was the one of the four songs I knew in this contest not counting my own (the other's being Cat, Arwen and Red Ant - though I did have to recheck the OS cuz I don't have Beauty And The Beast). Well done!
What can I say, Kristof? Other than "Don't give up the day job" :-)
SOTM...LOTS of LOLs here, KR!! Excellent job!
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