You said "I can't be friends with a dork"
I said "Did you really say that, dude?"
He said "What the hell is wrong with that, though?
It isn't like I'm bein' rude
You don't look like one of those ne-erdy ty-ypes
Sure got lots of robot posters, ma-ate
And shelves full of merch for Nintendo-o
And now I'm thinkin' I made a mista-ake"
I said "Jerk

You've got your foot inside your jaw
So much stupid you're sayin' no-ow
Should've used your eyes, and then you might
Not look like such a social clown
See, I know you're norma-ally bri-ight
But ev'ryone has their flu-ubs
You've got your foot inside your jaw
Please take your foot all the way out your jaw"

Don't feel so damn bad about it, Dave
We've all said things that were far from cool
Not rare to make a faux pas
That make you come off like a moronic tool
Sayin' "what adult co-ollects toys?"
Futzin' with my Mega Ma-an
So when you yell in a silent room
"All of you smell like a garbage ca-an"
I'll go "Da-ave

You've got your foot inside your jaw
More dumb you're sayin', bro
Should think for a while before the bile
Starts and then fails to cease to flo-ow
That shade of red is quite the si-ight
Almost cartoon levels o-of blush
You've got your foot inside your jaw
Remove your foot from inside of your jaw"

I know how your shame must fee-ee-eel
Said my fair share of dumb stuff, ma-a-an
Cause though my brain says "Just keep it inside, boy"
But my mouth says "I like your pa-ants"

I had my foot inside my jaw
I felt like such a douche, huh
I should've shut my trap, couldn't hold it back
End result: I lost a tooth
So if you wanna leave right no-ow
I'll be right beside you, cau-ause
You've got your foot inside your jaw
Just like my foot was inside of my ja-aw
Let's take that foot out of your jaw
Swap it for booze cau-ause that goes in your ja-aw