Hey look at me
Awful old man, sitting on my wrinkled can
Sores in my left, arthritis in my other hand
Hey look at me
So many problems man, I have puss inside my glands
Sweat when it is snowing out better go and get a fan
Hey look at me

An awful old man, ugly bumps all on my hands
People that don't know me walk up to me and they call me gramps
I drive a 40's van, wearing spandex waistbands
Kidney stones all over so I gotta eat unsalted ham
My current events, right, the rennaisance has just occured man
An xbox is just a species of undiscovered birds man
Hey yo my glasses lense are bigger than an eighteen wheeler tire
Tried to grill a hot dog, the house burnt down in fire
Take my meds every day, I have about twelve or thirteen bottles
And by the way nigga, what is this place here Mcdonalds?
Its a broadway house right? oh no a office for therapists
And what are the cups for? to get samples of piss?
From the bottom where my pants fall, look my pee pees so small
And everyobodys laughing because I have damn wrinkly balls

Hey look at me
Awful old man, sitting on my wrinkled can
Sores in my left, arthritis in my other hand
Hey look at me
So many problems man, I have puss inside my glands
Sweat when it is snowing out better go and get a fan
Hey look at me

Having trouble man, walking up the stairway man
Dropping my cane like my clubs when in the fairway man
When I sit at home I love nothing to do other than
Read a book that came out in 1855 man
Got bad blood pressure in my hands and my butt
Underpants so tight that they rip when I cut
Hey half my fridge all expired three decades ago
I think cottons just a package of dehydrated snow
Hey playa you know back in the third our the fourth grade
I sat next to Jesus when the world was made
All my pets will always choke because the smell of my house
You should see my bedroom, in my tights a found a dead mouse
These current jokes will never ever make me laugh at all now
My feet have so much moles it looks like old puppy chow

Hey look at me
Awful old man, sitting on my wrinkled can
Sores in my left, arthritis in my other hand
Hey look at me
So many problems man, I have puss inside my glands
Sweat when it is snowing out better go and get a fan
Hey look at me

Can't hussle man, running sure can kill me man
I burnt my face when I help a silver frying pan
I'm so white that i'm hated by the kk klan
10 years at my job and I only made a couple grand
My teeth are full of cavities beacuse there old man
My eyes have more bags than Stops & Shops new baggage man
You see my soul, and its obvious i'm old man
I couldnt even open up an already been open can
My hair is all bald, it was like that for ten years man
My car doesnt even shift into a second gear man

Hey look at me
Awful old man, sitting on my wrinkled can
Sores in my left, arthritis in my other hand
Hey look at me
So many problems man, I have puss inside my glands
Sweat when it is snowing out better go and get a fan
Hey look at me

Awful old man, sitting on my wrinkled can
Sores in my left, arthritis in my other hand
Hey look at me
So many problems man, I have puss inside my glands
Sweat when it is snowing out better go and get a fan
Hey look at me