[Jughead]: "I wonder why people hated me because of my hat! Oh well. I hope Archie doesn't want to hate me!"

Jughead's so far still alive now
No one left a big scar
On his stupid grey beanie that some people just cannot stand
Don't say "Jughead's dead!"

Will he stop eating too much sundaes and wanted to be weak?
Will he ever be beaten up by Big Moose?
Will he just survive the rest of his life without his hat?
But don't you know? There might be some rumor!

Jughead's crown-shaped beanie. You can't stand it anymore?
Will that Jughead Jones must stop wearing this dumb hat?

Jughead's so far still alive now
You think he is evil?
Will the SWAT team ever kill him? What is he up to now?
Jughead's bad, bad, even worse now
You guys loved to hate him
Is there a problem? Well some tradition must be broken, but
You can't say that Jughead must be dead!
Jughead must be dead!

Don't you wish that in the future, all-new Archie comics will
Break the tradition of his stupid beanie?
You think that hat is a sign of evil once and for all?
You made a wish that those stuff might happen

There will be no problems, it's time to cease and desist
Against Jughead's crown-shaped hat once and for all now!

Jughead's so far still alive now
Don't say "He must die now!"
You don't want to see that hat again in future comics
Jughead's weird, weird, things got worse now
Now you'll like him again
As long as his hat's not around, one thing you have to do
You can't say that Jughead must be dead!
Jughead must be dead!

Jughead's so far still alive now
Will the all-new stories
That featured Jughead, if so we're hoping his hat's never 'round
Jughead's quite getting very worse
Because of his dumb hat
There's quite a problem, well some tradition must be broken, so
Please don't say that Jughead must be dead!
Jughead must be dead!

[gunfire, killing Jughead because he's wearing his hat, Jughead heard screaming]