[David Seville]
Alllllllllllviiiiiiiiiiin...

[Elmo]
When Sesame Street's on now
Got one brain to rot, got one brain to rot, got one brain to rot
When Disney tries to get at ya
Stick to Are You Hot? Stick to Are You Hot? Stick to Are You Hot?
And if a network has the wrong show
Turn the TV off, turn the TV off, turn the TV off
But it just doesn't matter if your favorite is on
If you're lucky, you will be seeing Prairie Dawn

[Donald Duck]
Uh! I'm a nice guy with some nice dreams
It ain't about some evil scheme
Come see The Bachelor, oh and The Love Boat
Food Network's got the Double Dare host
Some Phantom whose name was Danny
Nobody's tuning in to Handy Manny
Even Nick GaS will come in very handy
Pee Wee's Playhouse is on, you know that guy Randy
Nobody can beat everything Sesame Street
Watchin' CHiPs, a show where Eric Estrada's in the heat
So don't try to hassle all of that Power Rangers SPD
I'm liking SPD
The Red Ranger's still the best, he's part of SPD
You should think about it, take a second
Matter fact, you should watch Becker
Or King of Queens, you will deserve much better

[Richard Karn]
When Family Feud's on now
Got one brain to rot, got one brain to rot, got one brain to rot
When Regis tries to get at ya
Stick to Are You Hot? Stick to Are You Hot? Stick to Are You Hot?
And if a network has the wrong show
Turn the TV off, turn the TV off, turn the TV off
But it just doesn't matter if your favorite is on
So roll out the game show that you like, nothing's wrong

[Steve Carell]
Tinky Winky, Teletubby too
Teletubby in purplish blue
He isn't tough, he's good for you
Tom Cruise, yeah he's so sharp
On the TV screen and in the magazines
Tune into Smallville, something's not obscene
Oh I saw Legends of The Hidden Temple
Saw it 27 times now this week
No Boohbahs, now I'm on the move
CNN never rains me with bad news
And CBS, will make me throw up
Forget TBS, Doris Roberts will show up
Alvin and the Chipmunks will rock
Just to spice up a certain weekday morning block
Subscribe HD, high quality
Things come close, picture filled with purity

[Felicity Huffman]
When Ugly Betty's on now
Got one brain to rot, got one brain to rot, got one brain to rot
When Reba tries to get at ya
Stick to Are You Hot? Stick to Are You Hot? Stick to Are You Hot?
And if a network has the wrong show
Turn the TV off, turn the TV off, turn the TV off
But it just doesn't matter if your favorite is on
Even certain theme songs might never get too strong

[David Seville]
Alllllllllllviiiiiiiiiiin...