Me (Friend):
Hey, man (Hey)
Really you, man? (Yeah, why you ask, man?)
You gotta help me ('Kay, what's with you?)
My web account must have been hacked, man (By who?)
Problem is, I dunno (Damn)
I don't know what to do (Say it wasn't you)
Alright

Me:
Someone phoned me while I was in the chatroom
I said BRB of course
I came back, and they all were saying
I was the wang of a horse

What the hell? They're normally such
Friendly people just like me
But now they're riled up, angry as
A hive of very pissed off bees

Friend:
Maybe somebody remote accessed your computer
A hacker that's a bastard, a real mean motherfucker
He'll type insulting messages to piss off your net brothers
Comparing all the moderaters to Adolf E. Hitler
To repair the damage you have to know what to say
If you do it right, they won't ban you today
Though I'm surprised they ain't done it, but hey
Maybe they ain't that mad, might turn out okay!

Me:
Said I liked Crystal Skull better (It wasn't me)
Said I didn't like that Yoda (It wasn't me)
My signature, it says "White Power" (It wasn't me)
I even called the mods wankers (It wasn't me)

I called apox on the forums (It wasn't me)
Said that they were all morons (It wasn't me)
Called them boring as boron (It wasn't me)
So many bad words I called 'em (It wasn't me)

Man, you know that I'm hopin' they don't ban me
Even though that guy was coarse
Holy shit, I can see right now, he's
Hacked in, now I'm done for sure

I cannot placate the
Mods, it's way too late now, you see
Why should they believe me
When I tell them it wasn't me

Friend:
Can't they tell it wasn't you by your use of the grammar bits
Should tell the diff'rence 'tween you and that hacker's antics
It's kinda friggin' obvious, it's not that complex
There is checkin' subtle clues and then there's fuckin' this
It's amazing the obvious signs that they are lookin' past
Change ya bloody password, that'll ward 'im off by half
Personal message all of the mods
And if they ask for proof then show comparisons fast

Me:
Said I liked the new Trek better (It wasn't me)
Said I didn't like that Doctor (It wasn't me)
My avatar it is a finger (It wasn't me)
Middle one, don't need to tell ya (It wasn't me)

If I get banned, I'll change forums (It wasn't me)
One that's not full of morons (It wasn't me)
That can't tell when I'm hacked, dog (It wasn't me)
"Forum" is hard to rhyme, now what?

There's a ding, looks like I've got a new message
Maybe it is from the mods
Readin' it, and oh thank God, bless 'em
They don't have the brains of dogs

Forgive and forget, I'm hopin'
Yes, I'm gettin' off scot free
Well, not quite, there's a warnin' there
"Just do not pull this crap for real"

Gonna tell my friends I'm sorry
For the things that I've caused
By lacking security, see
That makes some sense, I thought
I'mma tell my friends I'm sorry
Post a thread for them all
Ask 'em for forgiveness and some
Tips for blocking that twonk
That hacker twit

Caught his IP and then smack-banhammered it
We won't see his ass no more
What a git, hackin' my computer
Typin' things that start flame wars

How could he predict that my pass-
Word is "Iambobpiecheese"
I hope you're not a hacker, friend
I'd hate for this shit to repeat