My bedroom floor may look spotless and my shelves are never dusty
But there is a secret that does not reflect too well on me
If it doesn't go in the garbage, any kind, dude
The compost or recyclables, standard trash, not that slobbish, true (ooh-ooh-ooh)
But as long as it's in a good state (ooh-ooh-ooh), not comprised of scum (ooh-ooh-ooh)
If I don't think I'll use it (ooh-ooh-ooh), not gonna lay here in the open, bud
Only builds up over time, oh-oh, what was on my mind?
Oh yeah, "Bugger, in the road, so away you're gonna go"
No big plan, no smart explanation, hell no
Strainin' my brain? Hardly, as quick as a slam of the door
And you know, that is the source of it, the key to my neat place
Is the fact that I'm quite lazy, just move the shit from my gaze (ooh-ooh-ooh)
As ev'rybody likely knows (ooh-ooh-ooh), there's a simple phrase out there (ooh-ooh-ooh):
"Out of sight, out of mind", so (ooh-ooh-ooh) in order to get this crap out of my hair
Shh, shh, quiet, spoilers: they've been shoved in the closet
Nothin's really been thrown out but I've got this feelin' now
I think that I've got a real narrow window that the very next thing will be the last straw
One thing, one thing, one thing will empty the closet
An avalanche out of the closet, bad way to go out
In my old folders, books and other crap to up and drown
I wanna leave that mess alone 'cause I'd hate to make my own doom
You'd find me there as a human pancake which does not sound fun, don't know 'bout you
I'm tempted ev'ry now and then to put that whole mess in order
Tellin' you now, been almost hooked to cross over that border (ooh-ooh-ooh)
But each time I click (ooh-ooh-ooh) the latch, the rattlin' pops off (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Noise from the closet, like, man (ooh-ooh-ooh), what's that rumble? Sod that lot
I don't wanna just leave it, there might be creatures breedin' in that closed spot
Don't really know, each time I used it, eyes closed off (ooh-ooh-ooh)
"Door open, fling it in then shut it" was (ooh-ooh-ooh) my way (ooh-ooh-ooh)
To deal with all the crap that had no (ooh-ooh-ooh) proper shelf space (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Had no time to think 'bout the obvious (ooh-ooh-ooh) problems that my habit was causin'
That's a lie (ooh-ooh-ooh), you see, only puttin' stuff in a closet (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Lots of time for pausin' (ooh-ooh-ooh) to think about that door (ooh-ooh-ooh)
So now it's time I should admit I can't (ooh-ooh-ooh) resist no more (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Time to rip off that old bandaid (ooh-ooh-ooh, no, no, no) with the pain that entails (ooh-ooh-ooh)
And once my death hits the news (ooh-ooh-ooh, no, no, no), I'll be a meme, I can tell (ooh-ooh-ooh)
"A man has been squished (squished) (ooh-ooh-ooh, no, no, no), completely compressed in (pressed in) (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Because his own closet (closet) (ooh-ooh-ooh, no, no, no) had ten years worth of mess in (of mess in) (ooh-ooh-ooh)"
Cause of death won't be closet (ooh-ooh-ooh, no, no, no) (closet), my own fault, not the closet (closet) (ooh-ooh-ooh)
Let's deal with my closet (ooh-ooh-ooh) (closet), now I'm openin' the closet (closet, closet, closet)