I thought that our house was fine, the design was sound
But no, you "must fix it", why? What's wrong with the house?
All these renovations are a total waste
Of cash, time and basic decent taste
And I can't say how much I love this place
And why renovations are a waste

"First, the bathrooms need new basins, triple-sized and coloured green
And all mirrors should be facin'
Me at all times, case I'm pacin'
This staircase just cannot stay unless in a spiral way
Or an elevator, who cares, I say renovate
I want ev'ry tile remade
They need to be a diff'rent shade of red
Have to renovate, I said so, okay?
And so let's renovate"

But your renovations suck, all your renovations suck
Ev'ry renovation sucks, hate your renovations, bud

Your changes have no set system, random changes givin' me headaches
Whether nonsensical room relocations
Or just unneeded installations
Why must the loo get repositioned in a way inefficient?
"Moved to the other side of the house" ain't a good plan, right
In summation: renovations
Of your own makin' brings much frustration
From demolition to just omissions
Your house rendition lacks intuition

"More renovations, I'm thinkin' how to increase quality
We need a touch of history
Marble walls make perfect sense to me
Still more renovations, I'm thinkin' how to increase quantity
Influence from all centuries
It'll be a tour through history, c'mon"

All these renovations suck, ev'ry renovation sucks
Stop the renovations cause all your renovations suck

Please stop the buildin' nonsense, know it will be a flop
If you keep goin' with all this bollocks
Stop rebuildin' all of the walls cause they will flop
If you keep goin' with all this nonsense
Changin' an' movin' ain't fixin' the buildin' we live inside, stop it, please
Stop the buildin' nonsense, cause it will be a flop
Stop rebuildin' all of it, cause it will still flop

Cause your renovations suck, all your renovations suck
Ev'ry renovation sucks, hate your renovations, bud

You know I've said you suck and how I wish you'd stop it
But you've just ignored me and all my words of logic
Not tastes that differ, all of your proposals
Are objectively tacky, pointless and make no sense

C'mon, uh, c'mon
Fine, I'll leave you with your stupid
Plans to make our home "real edgy"
I can rent an apartment in town
And when you're done, I'll come round
And prove the way you renovate is lame
With schadenfruede galore

Your plans, moron (plans, moron)
Your plans, moron (plans, moron)
Are doomed, moron (doomed, moron)
Are doomed, moron (doomed, moron)
I'll laugh, moron (laugh, moron)
I'll laugh, moron (laugh, moron)
Real soon, moron (soon, moron)
Real soon, moron (soon, moron)
Your plans, moron (plans, moron)
Your plans, moron (plans, moron)
Are screwed, moron (screwed, moron)
Are screwed, moron (screwed, moron)
I'll laugh, moron (laugh, moron)
I'll laugh, moron (laugh, moron)
At you, moron (you, moron)
At you, moron (you, moron)

Cause your renovations suck, all your renovations suck
Stop the renovations cause all your renovations suck
If your renovations, bud, aren't abominations, bud
I'll say sorry, say I suck, hate our altercations, bud