You're kiddin' here, I'm appalled that you pegged me
As a gullible schmuck
I saw your beard, I mean, come on
A goatee? I'm not dumb
You might have all my friends' support, but mine you will never get
Cause when I saw your goatee the first day that we met
I figured you would be betrayin' us, put all my money on that bet
To me, it's all crystal clear

That you're the one with the dastardly plan
To backstab out of nowhere
At least to all those who think your appearance is square
My trust equals nil
You're such an obvious traitor
But you won't get to kill, cause you'll be my first kill

Plenty of proof you're a mole, cause I can see
Your creepily wide grin
Finger your dagger's tip as you linger
Never lift a hand to help
You've got the higher up's support due to bribin' them, I'd bet
If this crew was a sports team, you'd shoot for the wrong net
And all the fans and other team members would just think you had simply missed
But I see the real truth here

Cause you're the one who will stab in the back
Anybody standin' there
But not me, I'll see it from a mile away, so there
My trust equals nil
Cause you're a blatant-ass traitor
Except you'll never kill, cause it's you who'll die (yeah)
Run just as fast as you can
Saw your greasy, slicked-back hair
Saw "Most Likely to Backstab" in your yearbook, so there
My trust equals nil
So obvious you're a traitor
Gunnin' for a quick kill, except it's me who'll kill

You might have the high king's support, his sweet daughter, you're to wed (trust equals nil)
Is the world high on morphine? Should be clear it's a trick (trust equals nil)
Don't think I'm paranoid at all 'bout this, I mean, look at the clothes you picked (trust equals nil)
All black duds? Get outta here

Know you're the one who's got backs you want stabbed
Or a neck break here and there
Or at least a tranq dart right in their ear, I don't care
My trust equals nil
I know that you'll be a traitor
But you won't get one kill, because you'll face me
Run just as fast as you can
Cause I'm slicin' your flesh bare
Then I'll bathe in all your false comrades' tears, I don't care
My trust equals nil
You think you'll succeed at "traitor"?
'Fraid that means you must kill, you won't get through me (won't get a free, get a free kill)
Scum, that's all that you are, man
When you twiddle your 'stache there (ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Know you're thinkin' of ways to cause mass fear, stop right there (oh-oh)
My trust equals nil (ee-yeah-eah)
Your very essence spells "traitor" (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Good luck on that first kill (oh-oh), you won't get it, see
Run just as fast as you can
If I'm wrong 'bout this, I swear
I will never judge another man by facial hair