Song Parodies -> "Hobbit"

Original Song Title:

"Hey Ya"

Original Performer:

"Hobbit"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

HoORAY! 100 parodies! Only took me 6 years. This brings me back to my roots so it feels fitting to reach triple digits with it. For those unfamiliar with Tolkien's prequel to The Lord of the Rings, titled 'The Hobbit', you won't get most of this parody. I hope you all enjoy it.

Beorn-bourn-thorn, Woah

This Hobbit lives Underhill
He likes to smoke and chill
With lots of quiet rest

Oh, Gandalf he came by smartly
with a dwarven party
Set on a quest

Sometimes your life will find you
Or sneak up behind you
Like a stealthy thief…

Uh, thank god for strife and grief
That make you face a challenge
with no handkerchief
No!

Hobbit... Hobbit
Hobbit... Hobbit
Hobbit... Hobbit
Hobbit... Hobbit

You know this hobbit
No, you better drop it
This hobbit has some habits
Over time that will
MooooooOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOrph

You don’t know riddles
Ohh, you know so little
Like barrels where the middle has a filling of
DwaaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAArf

If what they say is "Never taunt live dragons"
What begins,
with Baggins,
zigzaggins’
it maddens,
some dragons (Out To Terrorize)

So Balin, Dwalin
Dori, Nori, Ori,
are we too set on glory
In the story before me heeerrrreee…

You know that not all those who wander are lost

Hobbit... Hobbit
Hobbit... Hobbit
Hobbit... Hobbit
Hobbit... Hobbit

[Bilbo]
Bil-bo
Bil-bo
Don’t like these trees on fire (Bil-bo)
Or goblins with their ire (Bil-bo, Bil-bo)
I wish I could retire (Bil-bo)
And head back to the Shire (Bil-bo)

I (Bil-bo)
I (Bil-bo)
I just want my supper (Bil-bo)
I just want more supper (Bil-bo)

[Gollum]
Hey, alright now
Alright now Gollum, (YESSS)
Now what's slimey and doesn’t drink
(NICE FISH) And we eats it
I say what's, what’s scaley but doesn’t clink
(NICE DISH) mmmm...

We eats, we eats, we eats, we eats, No feets, nice treats, good meats, it…
*GOLLUM*…
*GOLLUM, GOLLUM*…
*COUGH*

Ok my precious (…),
We hears some thing coming down in just a few stepses
Now it could be goblinses I can gobblins’
Now I wanna sees it and squeeze it this prequel
That would be novel,
If we has sequels
Ahh, here it comes! Uh!

[Everyone]
Hobbit, hob-hobbit (Bil-bo!)
Hobbit, hob-hobbit (Bil-bo!)
Hobbit, hob-hobbit (Bil-bo!)
Hobbit, hobbit
Hob-hobbit (Bil-bo!)
Stings ‘em like miss Bobbit, that hobbit

Hobbit, hob-hobbit (Bil-bo!)
Hobbit, hob-hobbit
Hobbit, hob-hobbit
Hobbit, hobbit
Hob-hobbit (Hobbit, shire)
Hired out to rob it, hi hobbit

((The next two stanzas take place simultaneously, as in the original song))

Hobbit, hob-hobbit (Bil-bo!)
Hobbit, hob-hobbit
Hobbit, hob-hobbit
Hobbit, hobbit
Hob-hobbit
Take a stone and lob it, you hobbit
Hobbit, hob-hobbit (Oh oh!)
Hobbit, hob-hobbit
Hobbit, hobbit
Hobbit, hob-hobbit
You can do the job, it’s true hobbit

Now while the eagles and wargs and wolves
And man and dwarves go make their war
(Go make their war)
I’ll go steal some foooood
I’ll go steal some foooood
I’ll go steal some food!

Hobbit... Hobbit
Hobbit... Hobbit
Hobbit... Hobbit
Hobbit... Hobbit

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Old Man Ribber - September 25, 2009 - Report this comment

One song to rule them, one song to rate them, one song to gather them and then to just elate them! (Shake-stoor I think) ;D

Matthias - September 27, 2009 - Report this comment

I haven't read "The Hobbit" in ages! This was a great parody of a long forgotten book cause this brought back some great memories of this novel, and I can't wait for the movie to come out.

Kristof Robertson - September 28, 2009 - Report this comment

"One spoof to rule them all, and in the laughter, bind them"....congrats on your century, 2nz (6 years? Heck....) 555

Silver Power - October 05, 2009 - Report this comment

I thought that the age of Tolkien parodies was over, but here's a great one that deserves 555 rings!

bobpiecheese - October 06, 2009 - Report this comment

(Dec3) Never read the book, but this was so well-paced it didn't seem to matter. Some great lines in here that would mean so much more if I had read the book, eg "You know that not all those who wander are lost", or the entire second verse. 555ses for you, precious...

Chris Frederick - October 10, 2009 - Report this comment

SOTM - Good pacing against a tough OS, and nice LotR subject matter references. Well done!

Mark Scotti - October 13, 2009 - Report this comment

SOTM 555 rings of wonderment! Congrats on the 100! I just did mine recently...

Peter Andersson - October 16, 2009 - Report this comment

2nz waves his magic wand again, though maybe he should have sat on this one til the movie comes out, just my 555 cents.

Guy - October 18, 2009 - Report this comment

(SOTM-Sep-09)

This is at least "hobbit" forming. COngrats on the century mark, 2nz.

Arwen - October 19, 2009 - Report this comment

Wow. You know I can't even wrap my brain around how good this is, 2nzy...you still know the way to my heart! Excellent job!

Glen S - October 25, 2009 - Report this comment

Thanks you all for the congrats on my century.
Thanks Old Man Ribber
Matt, thanks, I was trying to evoke memories of the book without putting any outright spoilers in.
Kristof, good to see you, and thanks
Silver, thanks. Glad to revive some rings around here.
Bob, thanks, I'm always curious how someone who's never read the books will interpret the parody. I'd recommend it as a book, it's one of my top two, alond with 'Contact' by Carl Sagan
Chris, thank you
Mark, thanks, and congrats on your century. I've been an incredible bum about reading new works on the site, so I use the tournaments as an excuse to read more of what other people submit
Peter, I agree, but there was a tournament that forced me to write it early. I'm glad you're thinkin' ahead though. Maybe I can get it recorded before the movie comes out
Guy, punny stuff, and thanks
Arwen, it wouldn't be a Tolkein parody without a visit from you, so thanks. We've both written new Tolkien themed parodies rather recently, which I find very cool. It makes me remember years ago and ages past.

Max Power - October 27, 2009 - Report this comment

Great

bobpiecheese - October 31, 2009 - Report this comment

(SOTM) I'll make a note to read the book in the future, then! I think my brother has it, I'll have to beat him over the head, I guess. Still brilliant, have some more 5's!

Phil Alexander - October 31, 2009 - Report this comment

Fantastic stuff, 2nz - super wordplay, wonderful for any hobbit fans :-)

DJ Blaze - October 31, 2009 - Report this comment

Surprisingly enough I've read the Hobbit, but that's the only Tolkien I've read! Excellent job! 555

Jeff Reuben - October 31, 2009 - Report this comment

SOTM--very well done. Nice twists, and brought the story back very well!

Arwen - November 01, 2009 - Report this comment

It would be a little freaky if I didn't still love this one, 2nzy...

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