Look at Avril and Chad
Didn’t you hear? It’ll be a blast
Those two kids are set to wed
People Magazine is where I read

Most people think it’s dumb
I’ll bring a present, oh yeah, I’ll show up!
Maybe an ice-cream maker, there’s no doubt
That’s just something you cannot live without!

I remember when in school
“Complicated” came out, it was so cool
“How You Remind Me” was almost as nice
Now those two singers are husband and wife

Wedding’s next Saturday
It will be rad, oh man, there’s a buffet!
I just can’t wait for it to begin
It’s sarcasm, I wouldn’t dare go in!

Oh oh oh
Oh God why!?

A Canadian pop-wedding will be a bore
This wedding would be much more fitting for two-thousand four
Are they both crazy? Joking maybe
Oh why? God why!?

Up in Canada, those two are vastly adored
Try to make music on each album, but they come up short
Oh man I’m praying they’re just playing
Oh why?, God why!?
Oh my…

Avril on her special day-
Got skull and crossbones, pants below her waist
Her hair has pink streaks hanging down
Heavy mascara rounds her whole look out

And now there’s Kroeger with his big ego
With his Canuck flag denim tuxedo
His hair spiked up, not looking too genteel
Hopefully, he won’t sing- that’d be ideal

Said ‘I Do’, then they kissed
It finally happened, oh man, I’m so pissed
May not believe it, but can’t pretend-
Told you the Mayans would predict the end!

Oh no no
Oh God why?

I’m just wishing that this is a stunt of some sort
Or maybe Ashton Kutcher comes out, says “You’re Punk’d for sure!”
It’s time to face it, they ain’t fakin’
Oh why? God why!?

Chad-vril mania will surely be in full force
Now a collaboration album will come out for sure!
Looks like they’re staying, I can’t take it
Goodbye, goodbye

All over town
I see their faces
You can’t escape
I can't explain it

Magazines now:
“What an achievement!
Aren’t they so great?”
I can’t believe it

If I could go back two days
I’d would object and save the human race…

Then it came to me while looking out the back door
What if Avril’s doing something that’s been done before?
I think you all know, Yoko Ono
‘Bout time! ‘Bout time!

Like John Lennon, his music career would detour
He’d get enamored and then Nickelback will be no more
From years of prayin’, time to praise it!
‘Bout time! ‘Bout time!

So to Avril and Chad
Man I hope you two can make it last
‘Cause pop music needs some saving