I’m tired of working two days and making millions on end
I’m tired of people always coming up and want to be my friend
This life is a dream for someone but it’s not for me.

I want to marry me a woman so I never have to work
And wake up at noon with a ten-inch smirk
I’ll plant my butt playing warcraft all day long

I’ll have a, a credit card that’s past its limit
And a giant freezer filled with hot pockets in it
Gonna stay up all night long and watch a marathon of Dragonball Z.

I want a big front yard filled with rusted cars
They all know my name at the oyster bar
I’ll wait right here while my mom pays the bill for me

I’m gonna ruin my life and just quit school
I’m gonna show the world I’m the biggest tool

Cause you know I just want to be a big loser
I’ll be genuine I won’t even be a user
I’ll do my best to stay off my feet
I’ll get real fat cause all I’ll do is eat

And I’ll order in and I’ll have some fun
playing Halo 3 till the morning sun
Eat Cheetos all day long in my underwear
Got a blizzard falling from my greasy hair
And I’ll, hey, hey - I wanna be a loser
Hey, hey - I wanna be a loser

I’m gonna keep myself high with a fired ambition
Won’t take no job unless it’s manage position
Gonna wait it all out till it falls right in my lap

I’m gonna buy my clothes from the local good-will
Ask father in-law if he’d pay all my bills
Had another busy day so I think I’ll go and take me a nap

I’ll spend all day long with nothing to do
I should at least go out to buy shampoo

Cause you know I just want to be a big loser
I’ll be genuine I won’t even be a boozer
I’ll do my best to stay off my feet
I’ll get real fat cause all I’ll do is eat

And I’ll order in and I’ll have some fun
Playing GTA till the morning sun
Eat Cheetos all day long in my underwear
Got a blizzard falling from my greasy hair
And I’ll go out with the foulest scent
Walk around with a sense of self-accomplishment
I’ll finally get a job and I’ll make it stick
I’m gonna miss the first week cause I’m feeling sick
Well hey, hey I wanna be a loser

I won’t get me a job but I’ll start a business
What they won’t know is that it’s all a pretense
Get dressed up like I’m gonna go to work
Instead I’m at a friends cause I’m a freakin jerk

Well you know I just want to be a big loser
I’ll be genuine I won’t even be a user
I’ll do my best to stay off my feet
I’ll get real fat cause all I’ll do is eat
And I’ll order in and I’ll have some fun
Playing Halo 3 till the morning sun
Eat Cheetos all day long in my underwear
Got a blizzard falling from my greasy hair
And I’ll go out with the foulest scent
Walk around with a sense of self-accomplishment
I’ll finally get a job and I’ll make it stick
I’m gonna miss the first week cause I’m feeling sick

Well hey, hey I wanna be a loser
Hey, hey I wanna be a loser