1.
Girl: "Do I seem a dumm Kopf?"/

Guy: "Yep!"/

Girl: "Why is that so?"/

Guy: "You're a silly lady./
Your plaid don't even match; must be fashion lazy;/

You don't have a prayer, they'll laugh so hard;/
You're worse then most nerds./
Your soul must be scarred;"/

Girl: "You're one to talk, what's with that silly tie?/
It turns women off to the sight of your eye!"/

Guy: "That may just be true; but I don't have a wig!/
Yours, rearranged, would make a nice oil rig!"/

Girl: "You expect me to just change my style?/
Soon they'll find you in a circular file!"/

Guy: "All I can do is say, give it one chance;/
What's the problem? It'll help you to dance;/
I'll be the first to admit it, I'm cackling at you, you seem so innoxious;"/

Girl: "Wanna pick on my clothes? Then come on, clown, win it!/
Lemme see you eat crow for a minute..."/

(Chorus)

Guy: "Ridiculous girl;/
Whatever you are;/
I won't condone;/
Your dumb wardrobe at all."/

Girl: "Ridiculous boy;/
You already know!/
That you're monkey doo;/
What you talkin' for?"/

Guy: "Ridiculous girl;/
Don't laugh at me;/
You know my cheese shoes;/
Ain't as bad as your teeth!"/

Girl: "Ridiculous boy;/
Just what is your point?/
Quit being a troll already!"/

2.

Girl: "Noses will bleed;/
And I'll smash your face blue;/
You smell like a weed/
At least I can play flute!"/

Guy: "Hey! They can't hold a mirror toward you!/
Where it is; near your garb; smashed in two!"/

Girl: "I'm out of this world! You will die on my planet!/
The UFO's are comin', think you can handle that?"/

Guy: "They call you Dorkface!/
Last name Clown!/
Not very tame!/
They should put you down!"/

Girl: "I'm a big winner, you formeldahyde elf!/
I can handle this world, I don't need mongrel help!/
Pay attention, bozo, or I'll threaten your health!"/

Guy: "Now you'd better calm down!"/

Girl: "What? Like everybody else?"/

Guy: "The harlequin hat's gotta go!/
Kick it off of you, smash it into the snow!/
And that clown nose, well, that's just a plain NO!"/

Girl: "Hypocrite! No one likes your purple eyebrow!"/

(Repeat Chorus)

(Bridge)

Guy: "Goofball, you're so sad, ears so green"/

Girl: "Goofball, you're so sad, ears so green"/

Guy: "Hey, you're so sad, ears so green"/

Girl: "Goofball, you're so sad, ears so green"/

3.
Guy: "Hey, Missy Lucky Charm!/
What's the fuzz thing hanging there on your arm?"/

Girl: "With this nice thing, I will smash up a gong;/
Play it so loud, all your hearing is gone..."/

Guy: "Hearing gone?"/

Girl: "You asked for it, man!"/

Guy: "You do and I'll smash you right into a fan!"/

Girl: "Try my umbrella shoved into your brain!/
Then I will tie you up underneath a big train!"/

Guy: "Not okay, that's not right!/
Speak normal, you know you're not bright!"/

Girl: "Doubt I can do it? Well guess what, you're trash!/
You've got all the clothes, I've got all the cash!"/

(Finale Chorus)

Guy: "Ridiculous girl;/
Whatever you are;/
I won't condone;/
Your dumb wardrobe at all."/

Girl: "Ridiculous boy;/
No one's gonna blame;/
Me for killing you off;/
With a napalm-y flame!"/

Guy: "Ridiculous girl;/
Don't threaten me!;/
You know my dress sense;/
Ain't as bad as your teeth!"/

Girl: "Ridiculous boy;/
You're bloody insane!/
I'll feed you to the gangsters now..."/