I can see that you're at home
Please just let me inside

I'm sure you're needin' a complete, expensive refit (c'mon)

Is it busted? I can fix it
Can change your sink out in about a minute
Don't care if you don't think there's a problem
Cause there's always somethin' folks miss, moron (whoo)
If you'd let me in *slam* that was rude, sir
All I want is to fix up your roof, jerk
Because I can do damn near ev'rythin' (huh)
Besides accept "no" as a real answer (c'mon)

I wish that I could show ya all that I know, brah (huh)
I can re-upholster ev'ry sofa (hoo)
Gonna leave my number so you can phone up (huh)
When your microwave just goes and blows up (huh)
Uncomfy bed? I'll look the springs over (huh)
Got a plumbin' block? I'd love to do it for ya (hoo)
You claim that you don't have an issue, oh ya (huh)?
That just means you're in denial, betcha (oh)
Nothin' stinks or goes click? Bullcrap (huh)
Nothin' lags or has rips? Bullcrap (huh)
Bet your whole house has things that go wrong (huh)
Late at night you hear things go ra-ta-ta (huh)
Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta (huh)
Don't write it off, I say nah-nah-nah (hoo)
Fix it, a combination plumber (huh)
Builder, cleaner and more like that (c'mon)

If it's broken, then I'll fix it
Clean your whole fridge out in about a minute
To miss out on this deal's to be stupid
You twit, you'll soon find your stuff is useless (whoo)
So just let me in *slam* that was rude, sir
All I want is to re-tile your rooms, jerk
Don't care if before you had all carpet (huh)
I'm here to prove that means you're a moron (c'mon)

I'm door-to-door, man, don't have the bucks
To get an advert before your flicks
Back my words up, give me your toaster (huh)
Rig it up with a timer, so ya (what)
Know how long until your next round of toast-a (ooh)
It'll work, at least so the vid goes-a (oh)
Learn all my tricks from Youtube? Never (uh)
Just most of it, rest's me bein' clever (uh)
Don't gotta show my qualifications (uh)
Cause I doubt that shit'll make you sated
You're prejudiced because I'm goin' door-to-door (uh)
And I refuse to buckle to your threats to make me sore (whoo)
Just let me stay and prove I'm no hackjob (whoo)
I'm sure somethin' here goes ka-dunk-a-dunk-dunk (what)
Bet your vacuum goes ka-dunk-a-dunk-dunk (okay)
Can make it no longer go ka-dunk-a-dunk-dunk (whoo)
So when it eats Lego in your room (huh)
They'll be sucked into a sep'rate baggie, dude (c'mon)

If you've cracked it, I can fix it
It only takes me round about a minute
Whether it's somethin' you wanted or not
Will turn out to be the best thing, moron (whoo)
Won't you let me in? *slam* that was rude, sir
All I want is to unblock your loo, jerk
I'm not pushy, you're just bein' stubborn (huh)
You're wrong and talkin' out of your buttocks (c'mon)

Oh boy, you still avoid (uh)
My great offer? Better call my boys (c'mon)
I've got gangs full of like-minded guys (huh)
Get your bus'ness, no matter the price (c'mon)
Work, work, get your cash (uh)
"How?" you ask "I have nothin' busted, man" (uh-huh)
Well, my mate, wait and I'll explain: (c'mon)
Easiest thing I know how to break (uh)
Is any lock on a door one might have
One decent pair of pliers and snap, snap
Taught that to my mates, your back door's broken
And soon your stuff will be busted as crap
It's a little trick I've learned to master
I act like a shit to distract ya
While my whole team causes total havoc
And then no doubt you'll pay for my practice (uh)
It's illegal? Well, no duh (uh)
Kinda blackmail? Yeah, no duh (uh)
Need that money, boy, so let's go now, chop-chop (whoo)
Before my buds come and break both your thumbs (c'mon)

Now they're busted, I can fix it
Do it all in 'bout a couple of minutes
Well, that's the theory anyway, buddy
I haven't done this in a while, sorry (whoo)
Still just let me in *slam* that was rude, sir
You can't beat up all twelve of my dudes, jerk
Good luck with that "callin' the cops", buddy (huh)
I'm not gonna budge cause you can't stop me (c'mon)

C'mon, fella (ooh, just stop)
Let me come in and fix that (oh, my, my, my)
I'm not crazy (whoo)
Just let me come and fix that (so stop, uh)