I am not a social guy
Facebook's an untouched site
Let alone talk to friends with my
Mobile, it's cobweb-ised
Not a word, I know that
But recently, the fact
"Don't use that phone for crap"
Has been screwed by twats

I'm shocked that there's still people
Who don't know how to dia-ial
What they want is not my number
And when they get me instead, they get crude

Now I twitch when it starts ringin'
Can't have misread 3 for 2, yes, they're sure, they're quite su-u-ure
They all think it must be malicious intent of mine (yeah)
Hang up when they wine

I try to get some sense
Inside of their brainless heads
Seein' as they're brainless
That plan won't work, won't take the hint
They keep callin' me a fool
My fault their dialin' is screwed
Get off the line, you're the douche
Yellin' at random dudes

Surprised at these crazy people
Who call back many ti-imes
Redial still gets you my number
Once again my fault accordin' to you

Still have false hope when it's ringin'
That it isn't one of you angry dorks, ragin' do-o-orks
Maybe I should have one ringtone for contacts
Another ringtone for unknown guys, a-a-ay
Only false hope that that's fixin'
Still have to convince these fools, not a store, not a sto-o-ore
They still demand a manager to have my ass fired ('fraid so)
Of this and more, I'm tired (ti-i-i-i-ired)

My throat's gettin' sore
Each time I hang up
Then bang my head on the doo-oo-oor (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Are their fingers too wide? (oh-oh)
Are they afraid to write (oh-oh)
Down numbers for some stupid reason?

So I'm still stuck with these people
Who don't dare take the ti-i-ime
To make sure they've the right number
Cause as they've yelled at me, they just don't have the time
Who cares if they waste mi-i-ine?

Not again, my phone is ringin'
And the ringtone is "Fuck You!", it's a dork, it's a do-o-ork
I'm gonna leave it ringin' for a minute
Then I'll give them a piece of my mind (yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah)
Show off my talent for swearin'
Many synonyms for douche, show that dork, show that do-o-ork
Time's up, it's time to get revenge for my wasted time (let's go)
Yell until they cry-y-y (let's go)
Swear and hope they die-ie-ie (let's go)
Wait, think I recogni-i-ise (that voice)
I-is that my friend Craig? Hi-i-i-i-i!