Tra- bad grades,
Low attention span,
I'm too bad for y'all, man!
Tra- my pranks
I'm suspended 'gain,
Oh! I'm outta class again!

Aw, you just came home from failin' a test,
Tell me what you gonna do, ditch the school!
Yo' parents say you wasn't doin' your best,
Boy, what you gonna do, ditch the school!
You've just slipped the teacher another dead mouse,
Tell me what you gonna do, ditch the school!
You and your boys just TP'd the principle's house,
Boy, what you gonna do, ditch the school!

We're talkin' 'bout mouse traps, toilet plugs and,
Paintball guns, eggs, and spray paint cans,
I've flooded every single bathroom sink,
I've already been in trouble 27 times this week,
I cheat on tests on a regular basis,
Gamblin' with loaded dice and a sleeve full of aces,
I step on short kids and trip those that are tall,
I sprayed my name on every hallway wall,
I put plastic teeth in the lunchroom's steak,
Sorry to say this but that wasn't mashed potatoes that you just ate,
It seems they want to write me a referral and send me to detention,
The only referral they'll get is from the doctor after they find my new invention,
I beat up the nerds and take all their caaaaaash,
Then I pick them up and drop 'em in the traaaaaash,
I pull the fire alarm atleast 2 times a day,
Please exit out da front, back, or gymnasium side.

I tripped the principal and made him spill his drink,
Tell me what you gonna do, ditch the school!
I ran over his car with a hijacked tank,
Boy, what you gonna do, ditch the school!
I got late papers and I got below an F,
Tell me what you gonna do, ditch the school!
I gave diseases to every cafeteria chef,
Boy, what you gonna do, ditch the school!

If you disturb me in class when I'm taking a snooze,
You're gonna wind up with a brand new broose,
I spill water all over and hide the janitor's mop,
I have the lights and alarms wired to my new laptop,
Reversed the school busses' steerin' wheels,
Ordered Swedish mattresses instead of next weeks meals,
My principal just figured out all my scandles,
I blew up the teacher's desk with Roman Candles,
My name all over the hallway, read it and weep,
Flooded the gym with water three feet deep,
When I make it to the office they just send me out,
Can't deal with me, they know it, without a doubt,
I'm 'bout to take off with the class pet hamster,
You gotta admit, when it comes to pranking I am the master!
And y'all can never stop one, can't top one,
In the car ridin' shotgun with a shotgun.

Got busted for droppin' stink bombs in the locker room,
Tell me what you gonna do, ditch the school!
You hired a demolition team to take out a room,
Say, what you gonna do, ditch the school!
Victor's still got foam fizzing out of his mouth,
Boy, what you gonna do, ditch the school!
If anybody talk bad 'bout the Dirty South,
Tell ya what I'm gonna do, ditch the school!

I got my mind wide shut and my mouth wide open,
Blackmailin' the teachers for drinkin' and smokin',
When I see a wheelchair I give it a little tipsy,
Give it a car engine so it goes 'bout a hundred and sixty,
Threw eggs at all my teacher's windshields,
Set spiders loose at the school bake sale,
I set fire to the plantation quite a bit,
It's not hit and run, it's run and hit,
Now the district says that they want me out,
But law forbids them to do that so they can just sit and pout,
I knocked down all the trees that they didn't hide,
On the play set I sawed off the ends of the slides,
I've ripped the principal's car half-way apart,
And I've got more whoopee-cushions than a man could fart,
One more day the cafeteria serves baked beans,
I'm blowin' this whole school to smithereens!

The potholes in the lot are my autographed work,
Tell me what you gonna do, ditch the school!
Won't stop spit waddin' the teacher 'till I drive her berserk,
Boy, what you gonna do, ditch the school!
Catch me up in the girls locker room,
And ladies what you gonna do, ditch the school!
Grow up to be a guy on freeways preachin' inevit'ble doom,
Boy, what you gonna do, ditch the school!

Too mad (too mad),
Too furious (too furious),
Too bad (too bad),
Ditch the school!

Referrals (referrals)
Detention (detention)
Public service
Ditch the school!

Skip school (skip school),
Throw it all away,
Weird Al,
Ditch the school!