When I pretend everything is how I want it to be
All the food is just exactly what I wanted to eat
When I pretend I can forget about the fat pig I am
Stealing portion after portion of that wheat toast with jam
That's pretty much for me an average day, cause i'm
(Doing what I should do)
I haven't quite beat Elvis, but hey, I'm still
(Eating my way from)

CHORUS:
You
(no diets for me now)
I wanna eat lots of pie, so let me chew
(No diets for me now)
let me eat till I die
I'd like to eat all alone
(Diets are bad now)
A whole deli on my own
But I'd rather eat
(No diets for me now)
Something like 22
Or 3

I remember what they talked of me
Remember neverending talk of what I ought to eat
Remember Weight Watchers and Slimfast and the Atkins
Don't want no rules about the crap that I am taking in
My stomach bulges to about 20 feet, and I'm
(Doing what I should do)
I like to eat everything in every way, and i'm
(Eating my way from)

CHORUS

All this is what I wated to eat
KFC, bacon, all this stuff that's really greasy
Like this
12 burgers with some fries on the side
Tasty delicious treats make my big fat ugly stomach feel high
Like this
(Repeat)

(Chorus)