Of all the things to hate about deco-o-or
I'm not one not to whinge about the floor
Who cares 'bout the floor (just a stupid floor)?
But what's currently beneath my tootsies toda-a-ay
Is seventeen diff'rent kinds of lame
Which I'd never thought I'd say
The shapes are uneven
A misshapen, polygonal mess
What's wrong with simple rectangle tiles, my frie-iend?
The squiggles have no definite flow
This crap has gotta be some kind of bad joke
Or it's modern art, the same thing, you kno-o-ow

I never thought that I'd whi-i-ine
'Bout your bad floor ti-i-iles, yeah, your choice of ti-i-iles
But here we are and they're real shi-i-ite
You picked real bad ti-i-iles, the worst kind of floor ti-i-iles

Also: what's up with these colour choices of yours, mack (of yours, mack)?
Cause they're hideous and that's that (and that is that)
Can't argue with that (can't argue with that)
I know you're not colour-blind, so tell me: what in the hell (wha-a-a-a-at the hell)
Made you so damn friggin' compelled
To pick these pastels
And then fling around red?
Looks like a weirdly dyed Easter egg
That someone cracked really badly and then ble-ed
Thought it was somethin' ev'ryone knows
Not to pick colour schemes after a good smoke
Of mind-alt'rin' drugs, shows that you're a do-o-ope

Didn't think that I would whi-i-ine
'Bout your bad floor ti-i-iles, yeah, your choice of ti-i-iles
But then you went and pulled this shi-i-ite
You picked real bad ti-i-iles, the worst kind of floor ti-i-iles

La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
La-la-la

Wish I didn't have to whi-i-ine (didn't have to-o whine)
'Bout your bad floor ti-i-iles (your bad floor tiles)
Yeah, your choice of ti-i-iles (yeah, your choice of tiles)
But you won't admit that they're shi-i-ite (admit that they're shite)
You picked real bad ti-i-iles (you picked real bad tiles)
The worst kind of floor ti-i-iles (the worst kind of floor ti-iles, la-la-la)
Can't write me off as I whi-i-ine (la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la, me as I-I whine)
'Bout your bad floor ti-i-iles (your bad floor tiles)
Yeah, your choice of ti-i-iles (your choice of ti-i-iles)
Say my taste is the one that's shi-i-ite (say my taste is shite)?
You picked real bad ti-i-iles (you picked real bad ti-iles)
The worst kind of floor ti-i-iles (the worst kind of floor ti-i-iles)