Old Gilderoy Lockhart was hopping around Diagon Alley like a big playground
When suddenly, Ron Weasley burst from the shade and hit Gilderoy Lockhart with a stink grenade.
Gilderoy Lockhart got pissed and started acting really scary, but he didn't expect to get blocked by Harry
Who proceeded to open up a can of Potter Fu, when Draco Malfoy came out of the blue
And he aimed a lethal curse at the lightning scar, when Ron hit them from the air with the flying car
But before he could make it back to Hogwarts school, Hermione Granger decided to break a rule
And took an AK-47 out from under her hat and blew Ron out of the air with a rat-tat-tat
But she ran out of bulletts and she ran away because McGonagall came to save the day.

(Chorus)
This is the Ultimate Showdown of Wizarding Destiny,
Pure-bloods, Half-bloods and monsters as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be?
This is the Ultimate Showdown of Wizarding Destiny.

Gilderoy Lockhart threw McGonagall out the door while Severus Snape killed Dumbledore
And then Harry came back, covered in a tire track
but got thrown to the ground by Sirius Black
And Ron Weasley got dragged away by the Grim because Hermione told it to eat him
But the very next second she was almost killed because Vernon Dursley attacked with a drill
But Lockhart saved her with a whirl of his cape and Vernon's drill was bent out of shape
And Ron stole his bulletts and he shot and he missed
And Sirius deflected them with his fist
Then he jumped in the air and he did a somersault while Hermione Granger tried to polevault
Onto McGonagall, but they started to fall, and Trelawney smashed their heads with a crystal ball.

(Chorus)

The angels sang out in a voice sure to annoy, and down from the heavens came Lucius Malfoy
Who abandoned the Death Eaters, leaving them befuddled, and started attacking Vernon the Muggle
Who fell dead to the ground, with no prior hint, as Ron Weasly transformed into Rupert Grint
But Lucius saw through the actor's disguise and crushed Ron's head in between his thighs.
And then Michael Gambon the Gray and Richard Harris the White
And Sir Cadogan the Crazy Portrait Knight
And Madame Maxime and Igor Karkaroff
The Headmaster of Durmstrang, and his student Poliakoff
Cho Chang, Rita Skeeter, the dementor soul-eaters
the Wizard Court, Voldemort, and every single Death Eater
Viktor Krum and Fleur Delacour
Cornelius Fudge and the Executioner
All came out of nowhere lightning fast and they kicked Lucius Malfoy's Evil a$$
It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw with the Muggles looking on in total awe.
The fight raged on for a century, many lives were claimed but eventually
The champion stood but the rest were disgraced: the house-elf Dobby whith blood in his face.