I’ll be the one
Sitting behind my desk
With my red pen in hand
Ready to mark up any spelling and gram-
Mar mistakes I encounter
I read this shit
Day in and day out
And it disgusts me
How one cannot simply log onto Word
And utilize its Spell Check
‘Cause I know that it’s your friend

I am here to judge you
Based on how you speak and write ‘cause
I’m a grammar nazi.
I’ll hand you a pocket dictionary and thesaurus,
Grammar, grammar nazi.
Promise that you’ll be
The best grammar student that you can be
So when that next paper comes due
My hand won’t hurt like hell,
Grammar, grammar nazi.

Stored in my drawer
Are multiple i-
ssues of my Writer’s Di-
gest magazine and a bundle of email
J. Crew discounts and freebies
My head’s hurting
From the Andrew Bird
Lyrics to which I’ve listened
Day in and day out
To better my already awesome writing
‘Cause I know Spell Check’s my friend

I am here to judge you
Based on how you speak and write ‘cause
I’m a grammar nazi.
I’ll hand you a pocket dictionary and thesaurus,
Grammar, grammar nazi.
Promise that you’ll be
The best grammar student that you can be
So when that next paper comes due
My hand won’t hurt like hell,
Grammar, grammar nazi.

Hell yes, this essay’s goin’ somewhere
Don’t stop ‘cause those themes are workin’ well
Also, your grammar looks good
And you finally used Spell Check!

I am here to judge you
Based on how you speak and write ‘cause
I’m a grammar nazi.
I’ll hand you a pocket dictionary and thesaurus,
Grammar, grammar nazi.
Promise that you’ll be
The best grammar student that you can be
So when that next paper comes due
My hand won’t hurt like hell,
Grammar, grammar nazi.