I want a deep-fried muppet
With a cheese doodle up it
And I'm waiting for a bucket of some
I want a deep-fried muppet
With a big bowl to cup it
Till I'm licking up the puppet crumbs

You see it started way back on Ses'me Street
When I saw the first time something good to eat
Like a fat-free recipe in '83
At the beginning of a ballgame, Windy City Whitey Sox
Bought a Big Bird, slurped it up with some lox
Now addicted to the fix, with a pickle on the dish
So diggety-lish, diggety-lish
Diggety-lish, lish, lish, lish

I want a deep-fried muppet
With a cheese doodle up it
And I'm waiting for a bucket of some
I want a deep-fried muppet
With a big bowl to cup it
Till I'm licking up the puppet crumbs

I add some watery, watery cress
To my muppet, muppet mess
And it ain't no to-do that I blew my whole calorie count
Along with large amounts of stuffing up the duff end

Cause I will always pounce upon Elmo again
He'll soon be on my menu of smiles
And I filet the Muppet Babies in the Martha Stewart style
With a bag of Fraggles in the deep-fat fryer

I'm a gourmet dishin' up a nice Miss Piggy pork pie
Muppets are toast when I broil and I broast
Because I batter and I baste, I'm makin' fine Fozzie roast
Praise to the host of the kitchen patrol with the most

Now the Snuffleupagus
Is an hour a pound for grillin', in the backyard post-killin'
And I've got Kermit the Frog in the blender for an ender
You'll say, "I like this lush, yummy green mush!"
Need more dessert? Well, have some churned Ernie and Bert

With your deep-fried muppet
With a cheese doodle up it
While you're waiting for a bucket of some
And have a deep-fried muppet
With a big bowl to cup it
Till you're lickin' up the puppet crumbs

You want a deep-fried muppet
As you whipped-butter up it
While you're waiting for a bucket to have some
And have a deep-fried muppet
As you sit on your tuffet
Till you're chokin' down a coupla Tums

See I'm a deep-fat fryer, neck-bone fricasseer
With my muppet parts I fritter away
And they're a dilly in chili, with a silly visibility
Fix 'em homestyle, cookin' with Wessonality
Muppets on a spike
The little tykes will like
While they shout and say
"Yay, this muppet's tasty!"
They like to eat Miss Piggy while they watch "The Muppet Show"
They say, "The host is Patrick Swayze!"

Hey hey hey! Somethin's different on my plate today
Now I get the nooner deal at the Henson Deli

Hey hey hey! Somethin's different on my plate today
Now my diet plan includes Twiddlebugs and Telly

A deep-fried muppet lunch
A can't-beat puppet brunch
A deep-fried muppet lunch
A neat-sweet puppet punch
A Cookie-Monster munch

And I'm waitin' for a bucket, I said a-waitin' for a bucket of some now
Fun chow...kung pow Oscar...