Yeah
I hate this stain, really hard to clean quickly
Heh
Not just one, can't lie
Good lord, before it makes some mould
Heheh

I'm gettin' stains from all these bu-u-u-urge-ers (you know, woo!) (burgers)
So many stains from greasy burge-e-ers (hahahahahahahahahahahahaha)
Tastes good, buddy (yeah)
Whole lot of stains just from these bu-u-u-urge-ers (sauce keeps flowin') (burgers)
More than just a dribble
Humongous stains from eatin' burge-e-ers (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Good lord, look at all these stai-ains (my shirt, they're stainin')
They're thanks to a lifetime eatin' burgers stacked high on my plate
Watch the sauce rai-ain on me
Just see the grease when the bun's squeezed
Amazin' when it fli-ies
Sometimes in people's eyes, of course mostly in mine
And then down on my tie
Damn food sli-ime, why do I come back to this place?
Because it takes sev'ral days to erase
It from my shirt, I can't change over to pullovers
Because, you see, all my clothes are sauced-up all over
It's been congealed, ev'ry last drip's been congealed
Ev'ry kind of sauce has been spilled, must say it smells like
The whole condiment cupboard had wonky shelvin'
And ev'rythin' fell on me, main diff'rence: it's no accident
I don't know if I can clean up this
It's disgustin', but they're really tasty burgers

I'm gettin' stains from all these bu-u-u-urge-ers (burgers)
Large and small stains from greasy burge-e-ers (yeah)
Untidy stains just from these bu-u-u-urge-ers (burgers)
Don't like these stains but love these burge-e-ers (yo, yeah)

Good thing the grease that I'm messin' with (see what I did there?)
Lukewarm at best, cause it
Would not be fun if I got hot boilin' grease on my flesh-parts
So the grease just sits there all greasy-like
Next to the tomato sauce, not ketchup, right
I don't call it that where I'm from, mate, my point's been lost, great
Was gonna list the sauce types that congregate
On my shirt, 'fraid it's not great
Not a lot, barbecue, mayo, hot sauce
There's so much of each, man, my shirt was once
White, now it's a hippie tie-dye rug
You may say that my eatin' habits could use fixin' up? Don't be silly
I'm not Jabba the Hutt, gulpin' food with glee
This is diner-style burgers, all drownin' in fried grease
Though I still manage to hold on, they're not that slipp'ry
One bite, all that sauce and grease explodes, disgustin'
I know that, but they're really tasty burgers

I'm gettin' stains from all these bu-u-u-urge-ers (burgers)
Red and brown stains from greasy burge-e-ers (yeah)
Unendin' stains just from these bu-u-u-urge-ers (now my shirt stinks) (burgers)
No fan of stains but of these burge-e-ers (still want more) (yeah)

Somebody stop me (someone contain it)
At this rate my clothes are two-thirds grease and that's not sweet
Big meal mornin', noon and night, I eat a lot, please
Cut my addiction to big ol' plates of grease
It's a bit too costly, but the service ain't shoddy
In fact, I consider the staff my friends
Don't rage when I make a mess but said mess still needs to end
Need a break from the intake of burgers, mate
I really have tried to find a place
That won't serve grease that masquerades
As a "burger" but has the exact same style
Of tastin' great but no immense piles
Of unhealthy crap that extends my gut by miles
Know what you'll say "But you said they're made of grease, I don't see
How they're still healthy" Just cause I said "grease"
Not literal grease, a su-ubstitu-ution
And that's why I crave these burgers

Don't want more stains from eatin' bu-u-u-urge-ers (burgers)
Bad smellin' stains from all these burge-e-ers (yeah)
I love the taste of these great bu-u-u-urge-ers (burgers)
But hate the stains, must quit these burge-e-ers (yeah)
Once could clean stains caused from these bu-u-u-urge-ers (burgers)
Now they remain, damn these great burge-e-ers (yeah)