TAILOR
They say that the tailor was a drunkard, always one to run late
Complained, expressed ideas that weren't sane
Sneaking out during his shift, drinking all the piss
You're gunna have to pay him if you want your shoes fixed
Well mummy's little bastard has quite a little secret
Working on your shoe now, never gunna finish it
Its quite a repercussion, and now hes started cussing
That he would've used a thimble like they said
That damn tailor

He just drives around, unaffected by
The pedestrians and he'll pretend that
Hes missed them all, so far from the curb
When hes really just killed a priest

Peter Patrick pitter pisses on the sidewalk
his pissed off wife wont let him in
Poor old Pete's got nothing cos hes been gambling
Somehow Sammy knows just where hes been
He thinks that putting on cologne gunna save that smell
now that beer stain is gone
Sometimes he thinks that hes a smooth young man
But I can see that his toupee's come off

He just drives around, unaffected by
The pedestrians and hell pretend that
Hes missed them all, so far from the curb
When hes really just killed a priest

Such a bendy burrito filled up with cheetos
Selling all that pot just to get a dollar bill
Used to be filled with chicken, times just been a ticking
Now its finger licking, to the man
With the beer in his right hand, martini in the left
Burritos the last stop on his way to a fiery hell

If the tailor finds a better life
Then the tailor's gunna become gay