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Song Parodies -> "Retch, Hurl"

Original Song Title:

"Rich Girl"

Original Performer:

Gwen Stefani and Eve

Parody Song Title:

"Retch, Hurl"

Parody Written by:

Nib Oswald

The Lyrics

"Ruminating, ruminating, ruminating, ruminating, ruminating more!'Gurgitating, 'gurgitating, 'gurgitating, 'gurgitating, 'gurgitating more!"
[Green Stuffrunny:]
Quick I gotta retch, hurl.
Glubba glubba glubba,
Glubba glubba glubba glubba blergh!
A tide of vomit, runny as it spills. Cuz I gotta ralph and hurl.
Oh man, it's festy and messy. It's splashed down all over, bub-bl-in'.
Oh why'd I fill my tummy up so full? Quick I gotta ralph and hurl.

Sick goes splat, vomit-full sink.
Eyes bright pink.
Green from digesting fest food.
And I cannot keep it down.
Oh, gobbled such rancid pud.
Not feeling good, blanchin', purge my bod.
Feel vomit surge past my oesophagus, I'm chunderin' brown.

Stomach retches gravy.
Foamy, spattered stink.
Stomach retches gravy.
My bingeing now plugs the stink.
Stomach retches gravy.
Spouting, cherubic?
Don't heave a lung up, baby.
My stomach, it splatters this pool as I groan.

Quick I gotta retch, hurl.
Glubba glubba glubba,
Glubba glubba glubba glubba blergh!
A tide of vomit, runny as it spills. Cuz I gotta ralph and hurl.
Oh man, it's festy and messy. It's splashed down all over, bub-bl-in'.
Oh why'd I fill my tummy up so full? Quick I gotta ralph and hurl.

It's heavy work, yakkin' puke. I hurl food.
It tires me, I spray. Um, who's got tissues?
I kiss the bucket, spit coloured rain.
Such rank and goopy flavour.
Stomach pumping sends a wave up.

Stomach retches gravy.
Foamy, spattered stink.
Stomach retches gravy.
My bingeing now plugs the stink.
Stomach retches gravy.
Spouting, cherubic?
Don't heave a lung up, baby.
My stomach, it splatters this pool as I groan.

[Heve:]
Chunder spatters all over the floor.
From the pud that I had it was too uncooked.
Splot! I flows up.
Splot! River slop.
Splot! Chunder spatter.
Splot!
[x2]

I'm barfing through the night, churned up light brown.
Specks of spew go flyin', (Sick!) It's a speckled ground.
Original yak ralphing. (Hmmph!)
A flow of rank digesting.
Green stuff, runny as old ham.
I want to get some beavers, stomach needs a dam.

I'm clammy, sloppy pile of sick here.
Some soap and a towel, seep up.
It's sliming it's way from the bathroom, get a mop.
Now for a rag to scrub it all up.

[Green Stuffrunny:]
Quick I gotta retch, hurl.
Glubba glubba glubba,
Glubba glubba glubba glubba blergh!
A tide of vomit, runny as it spills. Cuz I gotta ralph and hurl.
Oh man, it's festy and messy. It's splashed down all over, bub-bl-in'.
Oh why'd I fill my tummy up so full? Quick I gotta ralph and hurl.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.1

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
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 0
 
 3   1
 2
 1
 
 4   3
 2
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 5   6
 6
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Dumb Ass Kid - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Fantastically written and clever, not so sure about the vomiting though 434
Agrimorfee - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
The "Mr.
Agrimorfee - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
(RE-ADD, don't know what happened there)Mr. Creosote, I presume? You took a perfectly wretched song and given it the good trashdown it deserves. Good job! 555 (although, i don't think i can read this without getting queasy...)
Red Ant - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Although I DKTOS, this was WAY too funny not to get a 555 from me. This should be recorded and a video made where the whole stage is covered in puke.
Charlie Decker - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Green Stufrunny and Heve? You could write for MAD magazine, coming up with names like that. Well done, young grasshopper.
Stuart McArthur - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
ditto on the Green Stuffrunny - may the new wave of a-ralphing parodies continue to spurt forth - 555
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Did I mention I'm in the current edition of MAD magazine? I sent in a letter with INGENIUS anagrams of all of the authors' names (and stupidly didn't keep a copy to provide examples of my INGENIUSness) and the bastards only printed my envelope, which was a crappy ten-minute-decade-old-texta-coloured-in effort.

I take this time to plug my Hairy Potted series, I have dozens of celebrity appearances, all with their names tweaked accordingly.

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