It's hard to remember how it felt before
Right before that gift from my wife
Making my life lamentable
Must've bought it out of spite

It started with the accidents
I lost a toe, an ear, and something else
So it's quite a miracle that I can say I'm still alive
After my attempts to use
That power tool
To build a stool

The user manual is impossible, but
I tried to use it all the same
Now I'm missing a piece of nose
Think it went down the drain

Dismembered, hurt, and torn apart
The workshop is where the mess was made
Look at my leg, see the bone
After this I'll be walking lame
After my attempts to use
That power tool
To build a stool
Yeah, it's really cruel

And now I think I'm gonna sue for
The overwhelming damage to me
Slicing my fingers off
Intestines hanging out, don't think it will mend
Still, want to use again
That power tool
It looks so cool
C-cool
I'm such a fool
It makes me drool
D-drool
Yeah, that power tool