Song Parodies -> "Killer Rack Girl"

Original Song Title:

"Hollaback Girl"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"Killer Rack Girl"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Love. Angel. Music. Earplugs.

Uh-huh, these my t*ts
They're not some of my larger bits

A few things I'd get off my chest
But I can't 'cause then I'd have nothin' left
'Cause I ain't no killer rack girl
I ain't no killer rack girl
A few things I'd get off my chest
But I can't 'cause then I'd have nothin' left
'Cause I ain't no really stacked girl
I ain't no really stacked girl

Oo-ooh - itsy t*ts - bitsy t*ts
Oo-ooh - teensy t*ts - weensy t*ts
Oo-ooh - itty t*ts - bitty t*ts
Oo-ooh - tiny t*ts - I need t*ts

My name is Gwen; I turn on men
Even though I'm Ken up top, not Barbie
People think I'm thirteen years old
Least until they've seen me made up
I'm a pirate's request: I'm a sunken chest
No I didn't get blessed, no con-test, No Doubt
It's clear: got no pom-poms here
Yeah my bust's completely gone bust

Se-VERE shortage of top-grade fat
But at least my sales of CD's ain't flat
'Cause I ain't no killer rack girl
I ain't no killer rack girl
Screw YOU, babies, I ain't your snack
Plus I DO have cleavage; it's 'round the back
'Cause I ain't no really stacked girl
I ain't no really stacked girl

Oo-ooh - itsy t*ts - bitsy t*ts
Oo-ooh - teensy t*ts - weensy t*ts
Oo-ooh - itty t*ts - bitty t*ts
Oo-ooh - mini t*ts - pygmy t*ts

Yeah that's right dude, I ain't got milk cartons
Like Pammy Lee's, like Dolly Parton's
Got turned down for a spot at Hooters
No job skills there to discuss
No shake with the steak; no one asks if they're fake
In anatomy, I'm an AA student
And guys, they all think I'm playin'
Another one hides the bust

A few times I've jogged 'round that track
With no fear that things'll smack MY eyes black
'Cause I ain't no killer rack girl
I ain't no killer rack girl
A few girls, they get shocked that guys
When they talk to me, focus on my eyes
'Cause I ain't no really stacked girl
I ain't no really stacked girl

Oo-ooh - itsy t*ts - bitsy t*ts
Oo-ooh - teensy t*ts - weensy t*ts
Oo-ooh - itty t*ts - bitty t*ts
Oo-ooh - measly t*ts - Weasley t*ts

I can hear you say
These things - ain't casabas
C-A-S-A-B-A-S
They're not - like yo mama's
Y-O M-A-M-A-S

That's right
My size - one pajamas
P-A-J-A-M-A-S
They fit - these casabas
C-A-S-A-B-A-S

So SCREW hikers with expertise
'Cause I'm much more Kansas than Py-re-nees
'Cause I ain't no killer rack girl
I ain't no killer rack girl
The BEST silhouette's one straight line
'Cause when YOU'RE all saggin' I'll still be fine
'Cause I ain't no really stacked girl
I ain't no really stacked girl

Oo-ooh - itsy t*ts - bitsy t*ts
Oo-ooh - teensy t*ts - weensy t*ts
Oo-ooh - itty t*ts - bitty t*ts
Oo-ooh - puny t*ts - who needs t*ts?

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DKTOS? - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

Don't Know The Original Song? It's temporarily available at spaff.com/dktos

Arwen - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

When I saw the title, I was ALL set to admonish you that I'd requested the weepy eyed tribute song for my birthday in January...not for an early Thanksgiving gift...but alas...it's about Gwen, not me. So...

...I'll say that while this is very impressive all around...lots of fun lines...the pirate's chest bit, 'I'm and AA student,' and the fearless track running...all stood out for me...=) 5s...

alvin rhodes - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

thanks for keeping us abreast...many wonderful lines in this one... 5s plus

Yet Another Dutchman - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

It was pretty cool, but dedicating an entire parody to Gwen's (lack of) balcony??? My favorite line: 'they're not like yo mama's.' To some poeple, they ARE.

Red Ant - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

DKTOS? I wish! Love Angel Music Earplugs!! HAHAHA. Oh yeah, the parody is funny too. Many great 'bits'.

carol - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

two handfuls of 5's

Syncronos - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! YES! FInally someone comments on Gwen Stefani's lack of anatomical features!

Rex - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

Why are you making a big issue of this small problem? Besides, thanks to modern technology, she can update the meaning of her "Maximum Gwen Stefani" album whenever she wants. (Oh, by the way, this was great as usual.)

Kristof Robertson - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

IMHO, Gwen's lack of chesticular cheer only adds to her kooky appeal. Good job, Spaffster. 555

Luke Brattoni - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

Oooh, a 'wish I'd thought of that' parody... but then, of course, it wouldn't have been jam-packed with your trademark style of ingenious punning and rhymes. I hear she's seeing a psychiatrist due to mammary loss... 555 wine glasses, Spaff.

Claude Prez - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

I don't know whether to give you fives for clever stuff like "sunken chest" or GRUDGE ONES for introducing me to the original song. Oh well, at least now I can appreciate Red Ant's "Moneyback, Gwen" much more, uh, fully.

Spaff.com - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

Thanks, everyone. The best thing about writing hooter parodies is all these chesticular (nice one, Kristof) comments you get.

Sister Evenstar: Already pimping your birthday? Tell you what - send me a few artistic shots of your b-day suit and I'll write a tribute to it.

Ralphing Luke: I felt like I was channeling your style with this one, so that HP reference I threw in was for you. I'm not kidding.

Oh, and for the record, I think Gwen Stefani is beeeeeeeautiful. I wouldn't change a thing about her, let alone two things.

stuart mcarthur - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

nothing against Kansas, but the Pyrenees do have some magical hold over me - had to read it twice to the OS to get the flow, but the second time worked a treat - great witty stuff as usual, spaff - loved the milk cartons/AA student verse the best - 555

Arwen - November 09, 2005 - Report this comment

Oh I get it...you want to be in a fight. Okay, I can do that.

I don't think I've ever actually pouted at you, Spaff...but there you have it. Hmph...

(you realize that the birthday parody is going to have to be FREAKING FABULOUS now, right?)

Jack Wilson - November 10, 2005 - Report this comment

THats was AWESOME!!!! Wow I havent posted a parody in a while! Im still owrking on that Beatles thing though Gosh I gotta post some!

Adagio - November 10, 2005 - Report this comment

LOL! As long as she likes it, right? I was going to quote the 'sunken chest' bit, but that would be repetitive, seems like a lot of people already mentioned it. 5's

Michael Pacholek - November 10, 2005 - Report this comment

"Freaking Fabulous"... like its target? I mean, subject? Well, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do...

John Jenkins - November 14, 2005 - Report this comment

I was surprised to read that the OS just made history as the first song ever to be commercially downloaded (bought, not stolen) 1 million times. I hope that Ms. Stefani appreciates the excellent quality of this parody and doesn't worry about how Spaff.com acquired the OS.

Spaff.com - July 15, 2006 - Report this comment

Embarrassingly belated thanx, s2art & Sister McPoutypouty & Local Celeb & Patagio & Michaelopedia!

Johnkins: Yikes. Another sign of the Apocalypse.

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