It's a Tuesday, I look at my rolls,
Gotta eat LIFE (R) That's what I'm told
But every one of them just sounds the same
And the office felt more to me
Like a courtroom, a place of misery
Each time I'm there, they always make me say

That I am gonna eat a lot less pie,
or else I'm gonna get real fat and die,
I'm never gonna turn down curds and whey,
and I have really gotta, I have really gotta leave

PIE! I'VE GOTTA EAT MUCH LESS PIE (but I'm prayin' that)
THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL MAKE MY PANTS RIP
PIE! CAN NOT-A EAT PIE

"Eat some cottage, it's a healthy cheez,
"Skip a meal, Rob," My doctor said to me
But I could never give away what I want
I'm gonna eat pie, pecan and key lime
I won't stop 'til I pass the "thousand" line
I just cant stop it yet, I need some time.....

I don't wanna have a thousand chins
I don't really wanna be another Wenz
I look like I've been brought up by whales,
But I still really wanna, I still really wanna eat

PIE! I'VE GOTTA EAT MUCH LESS PIE (but I'm prayin' that)
THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL MAKE MY PANTS RIP
PIE! CAN NOT-EAT PIE!

Bakin' one slice, fine.
Bakin' two slice, okay.
Bake it three times, remember your weight.....

(cheezy solo)

Pie, I've gotta eat much less pie,

BUT I'M PRAYIN' THAT
THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL MAKE MY PANTS RIP
CUTTIN' THE CALORIES, WING-NIPS ARE HISTORY

PIE! I'VE GOTTA EAT MUCH LESS PIE!
THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL MAKE MY PANTS RIP
CUTTIN' THE CALORIES, WING-NIPS ARE HISTORY

I'll never lose an ounce on (my own)
I'll never lose an ounce on (my own)
I'll never lose an ounce on (my own)
I'll never lose an ounce, son!