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Song Parodies -> "Slotch.com"
Original Song Title:
"Stacey's Mom"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Fountains of Wayne
Parody Song Title:
"Slotch.com"
Parody Written by:
EmiLoca
The Lyrics
For the past week, my homepage has been Slotch.com. I do not know how it got there - I never went there and I was completely happy with Yahoo! as my homepage. It is supposed to be a search engine. Unfortunately, with this search engine comes endless pop-ups advertising scantily clad girls. Of course, that makes me look real nice when people come over and use the internet. The worst part is, it's locked up my Internet Options so that I cannot change the homepage. So this is my lament.
Slotch.com - you've got to go, be gone [x4]
Sitting at the computer after school (after school)
Click on MSN, but the internet's cru-u-uel (so very cruel)
Why does this show when the icon I click? (Porn's so sick)
Nothing works, no matter what I type, press, or ki-i-ick (one angry chick)
You know I've tried to fix the settings - it won't let me
My virgin eyes
Close whenever I see:
Slotch.com, your images, so wrong
I'm getting online and I see a girl's thong
Slotch.com, you see
I don't want pornography
I know it might be wrong, but my homepage is Slotch.com
Yes, I vaguely remember when I first got on (first got on)
Pop-ups invade; my efforts are foregone (are foregone)
One could tell how angry I was, how appalled
By the way I screamed," What's wrong with my firewall?!?" (Uninstalled)
And I know that you think I've no compliancy
But my patience ran out;
"Just deal with it"? I disagree!
Slotch.com, please say you hear my song.
Don't wanna see women with names like "Nita Wong"
Somehow I'll be free
Yes, this is a guarantee
I won't rest till' it's gone, this viral threat called Slotch.com
Slotch.com, your website is a bomb
It just will not leave, and I've waited for so long
Controls my PC
To intoler'ble degrees
I guess I'll play along
It's hopeless to lose Slotch.com
Sitting at the computer after school (after school)
Click on MSN, but the internet's cru-u-uel (so very cruel)
Why does this show when the icon I click? (Porn's so sick)
Nothing works, no matter what I type, press, or ki-i-ick (one angry chick)
You know I've tried to fix the settings - it won't let me
My virgin eyes
Close whenever I see:
Slotch.com, your images, so wrong
I'm getting online and I see a girl's thong
Slotch.com, you see
I don't want pornography
I know it might be wrong, but my homepage is Slotch.com
Yes, I vaguely remember when I first got on (first got on)
Pop-ups invade; my efforts are foregone (are foregone)
One could tell how angry I was, how appalled
By the way I screamed," What's wrong with my firewall?!?" (Uninstalled)
And I know that you think I've no compliancy
But my patience ran out;
"Just deal with it"? I disagree!
Slotch.com, please say you hear my song.
Don't wanna see women with names like "Nita Wong"
Somehow I'll be free
Yes, this is a guarantee
I won't rest till' it's gone, this viral threat called Slotch.com
Slotch.com, your website is a bomb
It just will not leave, and I've waited for so long
Controls my PC
To intoler'ble degrees
I guess I'll play along
It's hopeless to lose Slotch.com
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
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| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 3 | 3 | 3 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Very nice take on your practical problem. I could take a look at that for you... the problem I mean.
Oh, would you? That sure would unclog my emotional sewage pipe, and you'd have my undying gratitude for eternity. Thanks for voting, as well!
Flawless, as one can only expect from such a divine lyrical goddess! Sleazy Ladies On This Computer's Homepage
Someone Left One Treacherous Comment Here. Divine lyrical goddess my foot.
Stop Letting Off Terribly Cliched Huffies! Your choruses changed each time brilliantly you self-criticising poobum! YOU are a lyrical genius, I am a satirical penis. No more self-belittling!!
Pretty good! Same thing happened to me! Hey check out my parodies. I have a few posted here of "Billie Jean", "Steal My Sunshine", and "Smooth"!
*reports inappropriate comment* For the P word. (poobum) Anyway, thanks, Bobby! Pretty + good = Emi + Is Happy.
*throws a tanty*
*catches tanty and throws it back*
*tanty riccochets off head, splattering tanty all over the floor*
*takes tanty away* I am fairly certain I said NO TANTYS after school... you might poke someone's ear out with that!!! my goodness!!! what does it TAKE!?!?!
But teeeeeeeeeacher, he threw it first!
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dam.
Misssssssssss, Emiwoca's eading my cwayons!
EmiLoca, I am just APPALED at your awful behavior thus far!!!!*notices a crayon* mmmmm......yellow.........
*grabs crayon with pudgy, crumb-covered fingers* MINE.
Erm, if you give me half of that, I won't send you to the principal's office!!! *smiles hopefully*
*smearing walls with Vegemite* I'ma ardist! Look ad me, Missssss, sdop looking at sdupid Emiwoca, she's nod my fwend.
*looks from Luke, to Emiloca, to Luke again* Hm....nevermind! *licks walls* Yum....edible art....hey, there's an idea....*begins to talk rapidly and pace back and forth* i can sell this..i'll tell everyone that poor kiddies in Madagascar made it and that unless people buy it, they'll starve to death and have to live in ditches....that's it, appeal to the public's senses....*to Luke* sweetheart don't tell the School Board though, it'll be our little secret, ok? I don't think they'd be too happy about this...but hey, after all, I am making money...no doubt they'll want to be in on it too.....but it's mine, I tell you!!! IT'S ALL MINE! *looks around, and notices that all the little kiddies have stopped playing, and are now staring at her in awe* Come on kids!! Let's spread Vegemite on EVERYTHING!!!
*jar of vegemite in hand, heads straight for EmiLoca's exposed ankles*
*looks at ankles* Mmmm, edible shaving cream! *licks*
Funny true story: I was in the waiting room of our cinema when a female associate of mine (stay cool, she's gay) rocked up with her 'female associates' and they all tried out some shaving cream that they'd just bought on my leg. I went into the bathroom looking like I'd been raped by a midget elephant and smelling of some obscure tropical fruit... my guess is guava.
My shaving gel is mango/guava-flavored...er...scented! I'm sure that's not a very attractive smell for a male to sport, though. Sorry about that, although it did give me a giggle. Four, five, five for your story(Comedic Timing, How Funny, Favorite Number).
teehee.....a guy that smells like guava......my shaving gel is pear. so take that emi.
Tibbygirl smells Au Pair. (0,0,0)
I had pear shaving gel at one point. Then my puppy started licking my legs and I felt violated. He doesn't like mango/guava so much.
*tee heeing* Aww, that sounds so cute, little pup-peeee! I spose it was a werewolf puppy, causing copious hair follicles to sprout from your ankles.
Actually, "puppy" is American slang for "adopted homeless man". Trust me, if you think MY body hair is bad...
Ah yes, Mr. Duddlekins. He always sniffs me when I go over there, unless I slap him. Then he whimpers and lays down in the corner. I told you that you should get rid of him Emi....I'm sure that your neighbors would take him in as well. Just.....leave him in a box somewhere. He's used to it.
Um...Tibbygirl...Mr. Duddlekins is my stepfather. I told you not to go to my house when I'm not around! The homeless man and I must have been out for a walk when you visited.
Strange. 'adopted homeless man' is slang for 'goodbye' in Australia, so I have no idea what is going on.
That's what I meant. I always get those two confused....do they share hole-y trenchcoats???
They share identities. Occasionally.
Then rent them out every other week.
So then, as a fact, the one who sniffed me could have been the homeless man.
Crap! Outwitted by a Tibbygirl!
PLEASE RECORD AN MP3!!!! This song rocks :)
Oh, it's the plastic one herself (not you, TibbyGirl)! Unfortunately, I am unable to record any mp3s for a series of reasons. One, I don't know how. Two, I don't know who to ask. Three, I don't trust anyone.
I don't appreciate you passing around totally untrue comments about my silicone expeditions, EmiLoca. How shallow. Personally, I'm not shocked at all. Why don't you just write a whole dang parody about it and tell THE WHOLE WORLD. On second thought, I take that back. Knowing you, you probably would.....*winces*
To think, I typed in "Slotch" on google to find info on it, but instead I read about tanties being thrown lol. Nice lyrics though.
Finally. Someone makes a parody of this song that doesn't involve the words "has got it going on". Thank you. Funny lyrics.
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