Won't work, it's all so glitchy, all so glitchy
Won't work, red's all that I see, red's all that I see
Won't work, no wonder it's free, no shock it's free
Won't work, restartin', c'mon
Why won't you work?
Really hate it, wanna punch
This dumb emulator, won't boot up
Flicks like uh-oh, uh-oh-oh-oh, hey!

The first flaw: just about half of the objects
Simply won't load, big pile of nonsense
Dunno where to go, where I should be runnin'
When half of the walls are just not comin'
It's a big-ass problem, it's a big-ass problem, buddy
"What is interactable and what is not?" is fuzzy
I'd reboot it but this thing is so damn buggy
That a diff'rent set of things have been glitched, so touchy
Think I might have saved so many states
That I'm a bit confused which ones may be okay
Which ones were just made, what stuff loaded in place
Gonna go insane before the next stage

Wanna punch (yeah) this dumb emulator (uh-huh)
Really sucks (yeah), hate this emulator (uh-huh), check it out
The first flaw: sucks at object loadin', second flaw: sucks playin' neatly
Third flaw: sucks my machine flat, fourth flaw, frig it, I don't know, 'cause
Won't work, this awful-ass emu-, e-emulator (frig it, frig it)
Won't work, this awful-ass emu-, e-emulator (frig it, frig it)
Won't work, this awful-ass emu-, e-emulator (frig it, frig it)
Won't work, this awful-ass ow, ow, ow, ow, ow

So hard to play it (uh-hu-huh), not that the game's shit (uh-hu-huh)
I played the cartridge, man (uh-hu-huh), 'fore my Gameboy split (uh-hu-huh)
Stuck with this emulator (yeah), time for the second flaw (uh-huh):
Bloody thing's always breakin' down (uh-huh) like base code has been rubbed raw, hey!
This should work, the mechanics aren't shoddy (uh)
Least it's not supposed to be quite so spotty (uh)
Spells that leech somehow add instead, that's folly
From clocks to quest updates, so choppy

Wanna punch (yeah) this dumb emulator (uh-huh)
Really sucks (yeah), hate this emulator (uh-huh), check it out
The first flaw: sucks at asset loadin', second flaw: sucks playin' cleanly
Third flaw: sucks my PC flat, fourth flaw, frig it, I don't know, 'cause
Won't work, this awful-ass emu-, e-emulator (frig it, frig it)
Won't work, this awful-ass emu-, e-emulator (frig it, frig it)
Won't work, this awful-ass emu-, e-emulator (frig it, frig it)
Won't work, this awful-ass ow, ow, ow, ow, ow (hey!)

The third flaw: sucks my machine flat, god
RAM's used up, CPU's a slog (uh)
And other terms that, I'm honest, I don't know
All this tech work is beyond my lobes (uh)
But I know what's stupid, still, I know what's stupid torture
I know it's shitty when load times are longer (yeah)
Than that damn '06 Sonic, man
Oh, fine, not quite, but it's still real bad
Think it's gonna take the whole damn day
Just for one play of this game (uh)
It's such a pain, puts splinters in my brain
And wow, the keyboard's hot as shit

Wanna punch (yeah) this dumb emulator (uh-huh)
Really sucks (yeah), hate this emulator (uh-huh), check it out
The first flaw: sucks at model loadin', second flaw: sucks playin' peachy
Third flaw: sucks my mainframe flat, fourth flaw, frig it, I don't know, 'cause
Won't work, this awful-ass emu-, e-emulator (frig it, frig it)
Won't work, this awful-ass emu-, e-emulator (frig it, frig it)
Won't work, this awful-ass emu-, e-emulator (frig it, frig it)
Won't work, this awful-ass ow, ow, ow, ow, ow

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow
Come on, stop dyin'