Gimmee that warm and wide hug, that Mormon bride hug
Gimmee that warm and wide hug, that Mormon bride hug
Squeezing inside, love, we’ll fit in five more
Gimmee that warm and wide hug, that Mormon bride hug

These are our sleazy rules, yo
(Did we mention reverential?)
We aint no one-love drones
We have more wives packed in our homes

Pop... the questions
Buy rings in bulk for discounts
When more are wed, the love grows warmer
Calling brides by name ‘til you comma

So say “We do”… and spread that lovin’
Fill up those pews… wedding guests all shovin’
Now spread your arms wide… from West to East
Like Christ on cross just span it 180 degrees

(You know I) can’t do one front-hug, boy. Each missus wants more
My partners hope-to-get… embraces offered
(Cuz we) wanna make a line up… wanna squeeze each lady in
To please so many girls, gotta go out on a limb!

Gimmee that warm and wide hug, that Mormon bride hug
Gimmee that warm and wide hug, that Mormon bride hug
Looking crucified up, we’re squeezing tighter
Gimmee that warm and wide hug, that Mormon bride hug

We be knockin’ like “Wanna talk ‘bout Christ?”
Strolling sidewalks pa-trolling with our bikes
We aint no Jews, dude, no Buddhist garb
We aint no Satan cult with sacrifices carved

We’re Mormons wholly, we love to swing
That Joseph Smith Jr sure knew how to hold a fling
It’s not ignoble to have an orgy
Mormon maneaters get satisfied from gorging

When hugging husbands, they fill their arms in
Each wedding list is Utah’s populace of Mormons
Theocratic scripts of our dogma!
Morganatic rifts if they’re younger!
Sheets of static love when we’re under!
OHHHHHHH!

Gimmee that warm and wide hug, that Mormon bride hug
Gimmee that warm and wide hug, that Mormon bride hug
Squeezing inside, love, we’ll fit in five more
Gimmee that warm and wide hug, that Mormon bride hug

In one big line we stand, like doing a cancan
Fundamentalists- mental for fun, my man
Your hug only has two, we share more love than you
We start hugging and half the state has soon joined in it, too

You don’t think big o’ me? Bitch, this aint bigamy
It’s mutually exclusive conducive polygamy
So raise your hands up here, like an eagle in the air and
When you hug people, do it in your magic underwear

Spouses throw ‘em up, Latter Day Saint pride
From Monday Lunch Wife, to Saturday’s Main Bride
You’d better stretch ‘em out wide, til your shoulders crack
You could hug all of the Teletubbies like that!

Gimmee that warm and wide hug, that Mormon bride hug
Gimmee that warm and wide hug, that Mormon bride hug
Women either side snug, and then we wife swap
Gimmee that warm and wide hug, that Mormon bride hug