Will you state your contention please?
Will you state your contention please?
You are real dim, lady - please shut up
I repeat, you're a real dim lady - please shut up
We're gonna have a problem here..


Y'all act like you never been corrected before
A terminal bore
You won't let me ignore
We ain't gonna develop not any rapport
If you keep insisting: one and one.. make four

You been going on 'bout acupuncture and reiki
Ayurveda, and what it does to your psyche
A Doctor of Homoeopathy ain't
A doctor at all, that ain't my biggest complaint
A feminist? No, you just follow the mystic
Who says vaccination makes children autistic
'cause you basically don't understand the statistics
Do I try and explain? No, that's unrealistic
Whatever I say, because it isn't "holistic"
Not treating the whole, or filling a hole
Because sometimes you behave like an a-hole
I'm just sayin it's not 'cause you like to say "no"
"Oh, just think of the kids! Oh, just think of the kids!"
Well, thinking of the kids is just what I is
Doing, because herd immunity isn't a swizz:
Getting mumps, getting measles isn't what I'd call "bliss"
They cause complications, something is amiss
Today, in the places where vaccination is down
They're getting epidemics in those towns
It isn't hard to work out the cause
But how would you feel if those sick children were yours?
Sorry if you thought that was an underhand crack
I didn't write this only for giving you flak
And I don't want you to feel like you're under attack:
But see where his data's published 'fore you follow a quack


Don't be a dim lady, a real dim lady
'Cause the dimmest dim ladies are just irritating
So won't that real dim lady please shut up
Please shut up - please shut up


Homoeopaths, chiropractors
Doing just what any quack does
Should know publishing results is how you refute
Negative publicity - not libel suits
If what you're gonna do is sue for libel
I'll see you in court, eyeball to eyeball
Call yourself a "Doctor" with your magic water
It's your soul you're selling - when you die you'll get hotter
And it's the middle-class moms, with their wine or the daiquiri
They're always the ones who fall for the quackery
And open themselves up to being made a mockery
Don't want to be misogynist, but back to your crockery
If that's how you deal with things that are medical
What I'm saying's reasoned, no it isn't heretical
I'm sick of anecdotes with a touch of distortion
Giving a conclusion that's all out of proportion
It ain't that they're all schemers and liars
Some are only falling prey to confirmation bias
And you see them on the telly, advising 'bout health
Well, you stupid ****ing ****ers can go **** yourself


'Cause that's a dim lady, a real dim lady
She stops other mothers from vaccinating
So won't that real dim lady please shut up
Please shut up - please shut up



There's a magazine: "What doctors don't tell you"
That's full of shit they are telling you is true
The only thing that's honest about what's inside
That doctors won't tell you it - if they did, they lied
'Cause the lies inside are systematic
And they are automatic, and they're hydromatic
But I don't really mean to be a Grease fanatic
It's problematic, not democratic
A symptomatic, idiosyncratic
Desire not to be too dogmatic
But I really don't know what space your head is in
If you try to cure disease with alternative medicine
In every single person is a dim lady lurkin
Don't be a jerk an' let her muddled brain work on
Your health decisions (even if you're Amer'can)
It's still gonna cost you a buck
Or two, and if it works, it'll be dumb luck
So, will the dim lady please shut up?
Shut the freakin' soddin' **** up?
If you're not listening to me, if you're looking bored
When you die, I'll make sure you get a Darwin Award


'Cause that's a dim lady, a real dim lady
Her views are flaky indiscriminately
So won't that real dim lady please shut up
Please shut up - please shut up

'Cause that's a dim lady, a real dim lady
Her voice kinda sounds like mosquitos mating
So won't that real dim lady please shut up
Please shut up - please shut up

'Cause that's a dim lady, a real dim lady
She stops other mothers from vaccinating
So won't that real dim lady please shut up
Please shut up - please shut up

Don't be a dim lady, a real dim lady
'Cause the dimmest dim ladies are just irritating
So all the real dim ladies please shut up
Please shut up - please shut up

Ha ha
Guess there's a dim lady in all of us
**** it, let's all shut up