(A little bit of a fixer-upper,
But I think we can pull this off,)

I say we need curtains in that special shade of blue,
So they would match along with the rest of the room,
Contrast the curtains with some pillows olive green,
And move the couch so the room looks free and clean,

Martha had a single story apartment (apartment, apartment, apartment, apartment, apartment),
And Martha walks inside and she gets pissed off (gets pissed off, gets pissed off, gets pissed off, gets pissed off,),
*Ring* *Ring* *Ring* on the doorbell on next door neighbor's so she can stay with her (stay with her, stay with her, stay with her, stay with her,),
"Cuz she didn't want to look at the 70's era wallpaper (wallpaper, wallpaper, wallpaper,),
But one day poor Martha had to go back inside (back inside, back inside, back inside, back inside),
She was the one that was going inside,
She opened the door as someone was passing by (passing by, passing by, passing by, passing by, passing by),
They sang a little ditty, like,
"Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb,
Martha had bad wallpaper, wallpaper",
Martha are you tired of them going on "bout your ugly house?
Ugly house,
Then maybe we can help you out,

Semi-modern sofa on an ocean teal rug,
A fireplace to make the room cozy and snug,
Colorful arrangements of thick winter color glass,
We'll work with statues on the table, copper brass,

Predominant mood, predominant mood,
Everything's based on the predominant mood,
Predominantly light, predominantly dark,
But what about green?
Where does that leave ye, well, I guess you're in between predominantly,
Wallpaper,
I think if I see that mesh-green stuff again, I'm gonna scream!
It needs something gold or cream,
To match the couch and rug and vase,
Calendar, phone, computer,
And the china set and TV setwait a minute, darn, what's our budget again?
Why am I so darn limited?
Why is there currency,
Cold, hard money,
Paint isn't free,
Why there's thee,
There goes a hundred again,
Buyin' another antique tea set,
To match the rug, to catch the smug, to rest a mug,
New blinds are important,
But our money won't sport it,
Martha's funds won't support it,
Especially if we go import it,
Man, the room's pure havoc,
Like TV static,
You couldn't imagine it,
That little, rich Martha needs to take some of that junk and have an auction it,
And she could afford a bath unit,
If I could buy half of if
If you only knew the half of it

Roman statues in the restroom by the john,
And curtains to hide the light of early dawn,
Some paintings on your wall just there to lighten up the mood,
And refrigerators so we can hold all of your food,

Decorate,
We will not procrastinate,
Please over pay me sometime today or I may not finish the sculptor's plate,
You don't want to live in this hell,
What ever you want, please do tell,
Look at all the houseplants you've suffered,
Every day the job becomes tougher,
What did you do so bad to deserve this?
I'll fix it up perfect,
Like life in a fairy tail,
You're about to be hoisted in the air,
Straight up to Heaven when you see your house's new air,
You won't even recognize the house; it is now without error,
I swear, we could put it on TV if only we had a narrator,
Then people would greet you everywhere you go,
Here we go, now,
Do si doe now, now,
Curtains off the new tables, now,
Ring around the roses, this is a place that you can proudly call your home, now,
If only there was a way you could thank me,
Of course, I'll charge a healthy fee,
My price is ridiculous but I set you free,
From headaches and ridicule, you have what it takes to be happy,
I'll hand you back the keys,
The people see,
Then I must flee,

Simple shades of lavender show off architecture,
And wallpaper that shows off starch and texture,
A nice, clean desk for you to leave all of your things,
And two giant brass, gold-plated rings,

Two fake house plants and a few more fake house trees,
And a tower that can hold your DVDs,
Ultra-modern meets the fifteenth century,
This is my vision, oh this is what I see,

Oh!