Intro:
Look, if you had one shot, one little bathroom break
To run all the way to the toilet, one moment
Would you make it there, or just let it slip?
Yo

Verse 1:
My palms are sweaty, knees weak, butt is heavy
There's brown stuff in my trousers already, mom's spaghetti
I'm nervous, and on the surface I'm not calm and ready
To drop logs, but I just keep on sweating
But I have now, a big fat bomb so loud
To open the door, to the toilet and how
It's breaking now, everbody's shaking now
The hinge gives out, run for cover, BLOAH!
Snap back to reality, oh there goes some gravy
Oh there goes a rabbit, it choked
I'm so mad, but I won't give up that
Easy, no
I can't take it, I know this whole crap is a rope
It won't come out with soap
I know that, but it's broke
The toilet bowl is broke
When I go back to the living room, that's when it's
'Seth, wipe your bum again', yo
This whole brown ****
I better go back to the toilet and wipe my butt clean

Chorus:
You're gonna poo yourself in the loo with
No paper, it's painful
But you just gotta let it flow
You only get one shot, do not poo all over your toe
Nature calls a lot, so every lunchtime, GO!
You're gonna poo yourself in the loo with
No paper, it's painful
But you just gotta let it flow
You only get one shot, do not poo all over your toe
Nature calls a lot, so every lunchtime, GO!

Verse 2:
The crap's escaping, through the hole that I'm making
This toilet's mine for the taking
It's a King, as I move torward more, white loo paper
A normal loo is boring, but Super Toilet's close to post mortem
It only grows smarter, only grows whiter
It flushes us over these shows are all 'bout him
Coast to coast shows, he's known as the globetoilet
Lonely rooms, smeg only knows
I've grown farther from home, where's my father
I go home and suddenly I have a daughter
But hold your nose 'cause here comes the bad water
My buds don't want me no mo, I'm smelly product
They'll move on to the next schmoe who flows
I nose dove in the toilet
So the old story it goes and unfolds
I suppose it's right partner, but my smell goes on
Even though I don't fart-a

Chorus

Verse 3:
No more games, I'ma change what you call 'smell'
Tear this bloody piece of crap out, the toilet's swell
I was smelling in the beginning, they all just changed
I been beat up and kicked out and thrown off stage
But I kept showering and stepflushing the next toilet
Best believe somebody's flushing the flushed toilet
All the crap inside amplified by the fact
That I got diarrhea 9 to 5
And Dad can't provide the right type of laxatives, man
Cuz man, these bloody food stamps don't buy pipers
And there's no movies, there's no crap Pied Piper, this is my life
And this smell is so bad, and it's getting even badder
Trying to eat and water my seeds, plus
See the vapour comes up between trousers and my undies it smells so badder
Baby 'Mama Drama''s screaming on and
Too much for me to wanna
Stay in one spot, another day that has got to me
It's gotten me to the point, I'm like a smell
I've got to formulate a plot 'fore I get tossed in bin or shot
Success is my only bloody smegging option, failure's not
Mom, I love you, but this smell has got to go
I cannot go smelling like Salem's lot
So here I go is my shot
Butt fail me not cuz maybe the only opportunity that I got

Chorus

You can smell like anything you want to, man