[Intro- Michael Jackson]
I don't know man...
I think everyone's just jealous and stuff 'cause I'm famous singer in the fam, man...
And I think everyone's got a friggin' problem with me man...
And they need to take it up with me after the show...
Because...

[Chorus]
These chicks don't even know the name of my fam...
But they all know me and my glove on one hand...
And once I flow they know that I am the man...
All because I'm the famous one in my fam...

[Verse 1 - Michael Jackson]
So I get off stage right and drop the mic
Walk up to the hot chicks and I'm all like
"Yo, what's happenin? My name's Michael Jackson
I'm the one you want for some hot dance action"
They're all like "Oh my God it's him!
Look, it's Michael Jackson and the rest of them!
I swear it on my soul, you're my one true love!
Please, Michael, please let me touch your glove!"
And by now the rest of the fellas get mad
Especially when I drop the hits like 'Billie Jean' and 'Bad'
All the chicks start yellin', all the hot girls
Throw their bras and their panties at me all around the world
So like every single night they pick a fight with me
But when we fight it's really just sibling rivalry
'Cause they're back on stage the next night with me
Man, they're lucky that I let 'em share the light with me
Yesterday LaToya tried to pull a knife on me
Cause I told her to deflate her fake double Ds
This King of Pop stuff, it's the life for me
And all the other guys just despise me
Because...

[Chorus]
These chicks don't even know the name of my fam...
But they all know me and my glove on one hand...
And once I flow they know that I am the man...
All because I'm the famous one in my fam...

My fam, my fam, my fam, my fam
My fam, my fam, my fam, my fam
My faaaaaaaaaam...

[Verse 2 - Jackie Jackson]
You just wanna see your brothers backwards don't you
Hey dad, how come we don't get this rich too?
We sing vocals and do our performance
Why we in the van and he on the tour bus?
You don't want my autograph, you're insane
And my name is Jackie (oh I thought you was Jermaine)
What the hell is wrong, Mr. Billie Jean?
We play our instruments, you got a tambourine
See I know how to sing, see it's simple but
If I don't, Joe Jackson's gonna kick my butt
So I'll do my act, put Gary on the map
Singin' 'I want you back' while getting' whipped on my back

[Verse 3 - Randy and Marlon Jackson]
(Randy) Look at M.J.'s punk ass thinkin' he the best
(Marlon) Yeah, he bought himself a ranch. What is this, the Wild West?
Hey I thought we had an interview on MTV2
((Michael Jackson) No- I had an interview, not you two)
(Randy) You gonna be late for practice
(Marlon) Man I ain't goin' to practice!
Why his moves look all sharp and why we always get dissed?
You know what man I'ma say something!
Hey yo Mike!
((Michael Jackson) You got somethin to say?!)
(Marlon) Uh, nothin'...
(Randy) I thought you bout to tell him off! What's up?
(Marlon) Yo, he's got that crazy monkey with him, man! Shut up!
And you ain't even back me up when we s'posed to be bros!
(Randy) Man I'm sorry, I was starin' at his nose!
I swear, that thing is fallin' off...

[Chorus]
These chicks don't even know the name of my fam...
But they all know me and my glove on one hand...
And once I flow they know that I am the man...
All because I'm the famous one in my fam...

[Verse 4 -Jermaine Jackson]
They say my little brother rocks, but the rest can go
Once we packed all the seats at the Apollo show
I'm wanna let the world know that our fam is hot
But Mike cut off our song before the music starts
Ready to snap and start takin' lives
Every time I hear (Hey, he's the Jackson Five!)
He just danced, man, we played the instruments
So why he get 90 and we only get 10 percent?
Police cars staked out in front of his home
((Michael Jackson) Come here, little boy)
Leave them children alone!
Can't even do a show, 'cause the people are all like
(Who the heck are you? We wanna see Mike!)

[Verse 5 -Tito Jackson]
Ah, dammit I'm sick of this stuff
Time for me to "don't stop till I get enough"
I told you I played the tunes and sang all the songs
Till Mr. Hee-Hee finally said 'so long'
That 'Beat It' video? I was in the back
'Black or White' video? I was in the back
F*ck the media, I got some suggestions!
F*ck Michael! Ask us the questions!
Like who's J5, how'd we get started?
(What about M.J.?)
Bitch, are you retarded?
Anyway I'm the cuddliest bro in the group
Big ass stomach, women think I'm cute
Janet told me do Tae-Bo to drop the pounds
I did two and a half minutes, then I fell down
F*ck J5, I'm outta this band!
And yes: Michael's nose is a FAKE, understand!?

[Michael Jackson]
Guys why can't we sing "A B C and 1 2 3"
'Cause it just tears my heart apart 'cause I'm the best one in this fam...

(Tito) Man, shut up!

[Chorus - Tito Jackson]
These chicks don't even know the name of my fam...(ha ha)
But they all know him and that glove on one hand...(F*ck Michael!)
And once I flow they know that I am the man...
All because WE'RE the famous ones in our fam...

Marlon, Randy, Tito, Jermaine, Janet, Latoya, Rebbie, Jackie
You see?! (hahahahaha!!)

[Outro]
The hottest boy band in the world...
J5!

[Michael Jackson, singing again]
mama say mama sah ma-ma coo sah
mama say mama sah ma-ma coo-sah
Caught playin' too many games with the boys
Now I'm in trouble with the law
Cha-mone...Hee hee hee!

(Music stops)

Where'd everybody go?